Catholic Church Jokes in the media....adult

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:29

"The U.S. Cardinals said they are going to develop a code of ethics to help them deal with the sexual scandal. Wait a minute, I thought their already was a code of ethics, it's called the Bible." —Jay Leno



"I read this in the paper this morning: New York City has a priest shortage. So you see, there is some good news in the world. ... To give you an idea how bad it is, earlier today in Brooklyn an alter boy had to grope himself." —David Letterman



"As you've probably heard, the Pope has asked all the Cardinals to return to Rome. You know how they got them all to come back? They told them that there was going to be a performance by the Vienna Boys Choir." —Jay Leno



"The Cardinals will be staying at the Domus Sanctae Marthae, the new hotel at the Vatican, where turn down service means the bell boy isn't interested." —Daily Show host Jon Stewart

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:30

"They say (the Pledge of Allegiance) violates the separation of church and state. How about the separation of church and altar boy? That's what I'm worried about." —Jay Leno



"Cardinal Law had difficulty with his memory under oath today. He could only remember three commandments. Under oath, Cardinal Law said 'I do not recall' 43 times. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material." —David Letterman



"The House Transportation Committee is now considering a bill that would allow pilots to carry guns for protection. I've got a better idea, why not give guns to altar boys, give them a fighting chance." —Jay Leno



"In Boston, it looks like Cardinal Bernard Law isn't going to be punished. It turns out he's getting transferred to Rome, which is kind of like a promotion. He said today he wanted to thank all the little people." —Jay Leno

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:31

"The Catholic Church is finally cracking down. Here's the deal now: if a priest is transferred to another parish, he cannot take his live-in boyfriend." —David Letterman



"The Catholic Church has just opened a new $2 million cathedral in Los Angeles. They really spared no expense. Each confessional has a panic button in it." —David Letterman



"The Church reaffirming celibacy — it's kind of like Clinton reaffirming monogamy." —Jay Leno



"The big Vatican summit wrapped up, closing ceremonies were Harry Connick Jr. The Vatican is taking a tough stand now, three strikes and you're transferred." —David Letterman



"This is the last Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Next year, boys will be involved too. I guess the church lobbied pretty hard on that one." —Jay Leno



"After all these scandals in the church, many Roman Catholics are calling for an end to celibacy. And end to celibacy, how about starting celibacy? Let's at least try it to see if it works." —Jay Leno

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:33

"Pope has called all the U.S. cardinals back to the Vatican. He's going to have Italy's top soccer coach talk to them. I believe the topic is how to do your job without using your hands." —Jay Leno



"Today the Catholic Church unveiled its new policy. Don't ask, don't confess." —Jay Leno



"Isn't it crazy with all these church scandals? I'm beginning to understand how all those Bibles ended up in hotel rooms." —Jay Leno



"This week hundreds of bishops arrived in Dallas for their annual convention. You know what that means? Party. Party. Party. A couple of bellboys are being carried over the threshold tonight." —Jay Leno

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:48

What a great job you performed, Goonerboy! All this copy/pasting! Why didn't you just give the URL where you found it? Errrm, when was your last original idea..?!

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 21:04

Probably the last time the Dutch stood up for themselves and didn't collaborate with enemy forces.



There was WW2, remb that.



Then of course you have Srebrenica. The United Nations declared it a safe zone, and sent Dutch Troops in to protect the Bosnians.



Remb what happened next, the largest mass murder in Europe since World War II took place. The DUTCH soldiers sent to protect the Bosnians stood aside and allowed the massacre of more then 8000 Bosnians.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 21:13

RE msg 6, Goonerboy: I don't remember I was there at the time. Were you there when the British invented concentration camps during the first and second "Boer war" in South Africa? Or when the British send a million Kossacks back to Russia after the Second World War - where they were killed on the spot of arrival or doing hard labour in Siberia?

Don't show your cheap mentality, Goonerboy.

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 21:49

Very presumptuous Dutch, who ever said I was English, I maybe, but then again you dnt knw me from Adam.



I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant mate.



In the words of Oscar Wilde....Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go