Joke - Smart Parrot!

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 18:38

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude,

obnoxious and laced with profanity.



John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude

by consistently saying only polite words,

playing soft music and anything else he could

think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.



Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand,

grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.



For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot,

John quickly opened the door to the freezer.....

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 18:38

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said

"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully

intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."



John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,

when the bird spoke-up, very softly....







"May I ask what the turkey did?"



Merry Xmas



Navek

swannee7


Joined: 21/08/2009
Posts: 394

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 19:07

Good one, Navek! lol

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 19:14

Black man walks into pub with a parrot on his shoulder, barman asks, "Where did you get that from?". Parrot answers, "Africa, there's billions of them!".



Richard

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 22:10

Nav you crack me up daily, thank you. brins love it x

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 22:16

I'm starting to see why people think of Americans as redneck hillbilly inbreds.



I met one last week and he couldn't stop going on about how proud he was of his four fathers.    

racoonchic



Joined: 17/11/2008
Posts: 3223

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 22:36

this is proof u got home ok x

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 22:43

Ricky. ) )

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
26/11/2010 23:04

Wouldn't it have been fun if ... We had all greeted the Chilean Miners dressed up as the "Planet of the Apes".

bridie


Joined: 18/09/2008
Posts: 308

Message Posted:
27/11/2010 19:27

I have an African grey parrot who also uses foul language, and can't help himself when tourists are walking down the road. I have to hide because he embarrasses me, and i don't swear, but I had six young instructors from UK staying in my house in the 80s and 90s, and they did use bad language. He also makes the noise of ambulances, and sometimes a combination of both. He keeps us and the neighbours amused.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/11/2010 19:33

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.



'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.



We can't stand the sight of each other any longer the father says.

We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so

you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.

Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. Like

hell they're getting divorced! she shouts, I'll take care of this!

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father You are

NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there.

I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.

Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME? and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas

And they're paying their own way.'

Geoff1131MK11


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 396

Message Posted:
27/11/2010 19:40

A friend of mine ( who unfortunately has a very bad stammer ) went to the pet shop to get himself a little friend. The pet shop owner suggested a puppy, my friend said 'oh no i cccccccccant have a pppppppuppy, i wwwwwwwwork nights and i wwwwwwould'nt be able to wwwwwwalk him'. So the pet shop guy suggests a kitten, 'no i cccccant have a kkkkkkitten i'mmmmm alergic to cccccccats. After thinking for a while the pet shop man says ' what about a parrot? you wont have to walk him and he will be good company for you. Oh said my friend,thats a good idea, cccccan it ttttalk?? and the parrot said, yes a bloody sight better than you!!!!!