2 Mexicans

jonnytwoscoop



Joined: 27/08/2008
Posts: 142

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 18:20

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance.



As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.



"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke, "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"



"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.



So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.



His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.



"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"



With his dying breath Pepe calls out...."Ugh, run, amigo, run!! Ees not

a Bacon Tree!"



...



...



...



...



"Ees... a.... Ham bush"

Chick-A-Dee


Joined: 16/06/2008
Posts: 342

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 19:17

Thanks jonny ...



I appreciated that ... its good to have a laugh on the forum, there is too much digging and scratching going on for me at the moment ...lighten up everyone!

jonnytwoscoop



Joined: 27/08/2008
Posts: 142

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 19:22

thanks for that Chick a dee glad you enjoyed it , check out the Prawn and Cod link as well , should put a smile (I hope) on your face , and your quite right I think we all need to lighten up a bit on here , theres enough rubbish going on all over the world without us lot slagging each other off .

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:57

nice one johnny 2 scope.... blonde knocks at the pearly gates,St. peter answers "what can i do for you" i would like to come in sas the blonde. St peter replies "we are a little cver the top with blondes at the moment, so we have had to set alittle examfor you"what might that be"asks the blonde."three questions"says ST.peter."first one is.which two days ot the week begin withT" 2..how many seconds in ayear,3 what was the name of the swagman in waltzing matilda.You have 30minutes to think about your answers.O.K. says the blonde.After30mins. ST.Peterasks her for her answers. firstquestion, which 2 days of the week begin with T. blonde...Today and Tomorrow.,question "how man seconds in ayear..blonde ..12 ,JAN2. feb2 mar 2..april2..etc..STpeter is thrown by the blondes answers but decides final question will catch her out.O.K.says STPeter, what was the name of the swagman in waltzing matilda. Easy says the blonde, His name was ANDY.STPetersays"how do come to that answer" Blonde says"ANDYsang.ANDY he waited,ANDYsat by his billy bong".............

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 08:48

Two big game hunters in Africa, at night, in their tent.

They hear a lion prowling outside and one says to the other

"What shall we do?"

"Let's run for it" says the other.

"You'll never run faster than a lion" says the first man.

"I don't have to run faster than the lion" says the other, "I only have to run faster than you"

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 13:48

bloke goes into docters surgery and punches the doctor in the mouth. doctor says"what was that for" man says" for telling my wife she had a cute vagina" "I didnt say that ,i told her she had acute angina"

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 15:42

Woman goes into her doctors and says

"I don't feel very well".

The doctor looks at her and says

"I'm not surprised, you're too fat".

"I want a second opinion", says the woman.

"Alright", says the doctor, "You're ugly as well".

girne 29


Joined: 06/12/2007
Posts: 1488

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 18:53

jonnytwoscoop



Your mexicans go into a hotel to recover .

One books the rooms and is asked by the manager if he wants sheets on the bed.

Mexican replies ''You sheet on my bed ,I kill you''