Neg Nick "joke of the week"

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 13:50

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.



He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.



The robber yelled, 'Well, did anyone else see my face?' There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.



Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, 'My wife got a pretty good look at you.'

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 13:53

Garry Monger is so embarrassed............................







He got an Email from Screwfix today, they're telling him that they're actually not a dating agency.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 13:54

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 14:05

A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"

"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".

"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.

"In the park just down the road" she replied.

"Can you describe what happened?"

"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me".

"Could you give me a description of him?"

"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg".

"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.

"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".

"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?"

"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 14:31

▶ [ http://is.gd/iyjNf/Read_here_how_19,500_people_on_the_Internet_stole_NN's_joke_in_msg_1! ].

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 15:43

Mess 5 - Dutch, you are one sad, bitter and twisted individual - with zero sense of humour........



LIGHTEN UP !

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 15:57

RE msg 6, NN: (...) Dutch, you are one sad, bitter and twisted individual - with zero sense of humour........ (...)

▶ Says who?! The man who fills his life and this board with 'borrowed' jokes from the 'Net and slagging off anything TRNC - sad, bitter and twisted indeed!

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 16:00

msg 6+7 do not mention zero please he is banned.........

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 16:06

mess 7 - Dutch - you need serious help, old boy............



you seriously think i sit at home all day writing jokes ? ?



Plenty of other folk posting jokes on here - like Bill (doyen) for example - you now going to slag them off ?



Look up what "twerp" means when you are next on Google................

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
11/12/2010 17:00

This thread is now closed. Reason: Thread went off topic.