Neg Nick "joke of the week" (Dutch free zone......)

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 05:33

Neg Nick "joke of the week" - Please note this is a "Durch" free zone...................





A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the famous golf course at St Andrews . Suddenly, a groundskeeper shouts:



'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's shite an pish!'



The golfer replies:



'Excuse me, my good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that for me, in English, please!?'



The keeper replies:



'I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way"

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 09:58

▶ [ http://is.gd/iB9eP/Read_here_how_only_178,000_posters_on_the_Internet_stole_NN's_original_joke_in_msg_1! ].

NN must be thinking we're all too stupid to find jokes on the 'Net ourselves.

Tip for NN, so he doesn't have to search for one joke at the time - here are 74 million 300 thousand jokes:

▶ [ http://is.gd/iBaRi/For_Negative_Nick_all_74,000,300_jokes_available_on_the_Internet ].

This will give NN the time to write something positive or interesting about his beloved TRNC, I hope.

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 10:21

Nick

Although I'd heard that one before I'd forgotten it! Also it was a favourite one of my dear old Dad's (no longer with us) so thanks for that - you brought a double smile to me!



Cloggy - go suck on a Fisherman's Friend!

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 11:10

dutcch - you are one sad bloke........

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 11:21

Old jokes and more of the same about me.

P.S. You didn't make an error spelling Dutch in the title, but "Durch" in msg 1 and "dutcch" in msg 4 is definitely wrong. Not bad, one out of three.

bonnie1707


Joined: 06/06/2010
Posts: 95

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 12:37

Hi Dutch ... We all appreciate that these jokes can be found on the internet, but for many of us the sharing of a joke with others is more enjoyable than the amusement we get from reading it. It's similar to reading a book or watching a film ... we like to share the experience with others. As one poster once said, think of the forum as something like your local pub back home, but situated here in Cyprus ... where people do occasionally chat about the problems here in Cyprus, but more often tell each other jokes (maybe from the internet) or comment on the latest Premiership match.

davedee



Joined: 01/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 12:43

Well done message 5 a post without (....) or [.......]

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 14:12

Keep them coming NN,you never know one day he might smile.

I think all the posters he as ridiculed should go on his boring posts and,,,,,,,,, but no I can't be bothered to scroll through all the crap he puts on

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 14:27

RE msg 8, TopTen: (...) but no I can't be bothered to scroll through all the crap he puts on (...)

▶ Wow! Lizzie, that's a firm - but not very smart - statement! How do you know I upload crap when you don't read it..?!

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 14:53

DC try to abide by the old saying " Live, and let live."

We are a mixed bunch on here, and not every one wants to read jokes albeit old ones, or , copied ones but then again one or two of us quite enjoy them.

And the same can be said of your posts, you are only posting things that are, with a bit of work obtainable by everyone. So in a way your only "copying and pasting" something that is there for everyone who is interested to find for themselves, so come on be a bit more tolerent. When all said and done they are clearly marked JOKE so why open them, unless your reason for doing so is just to be unpleasant to the poster.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:00

mess 10 - Well said topten



does that mean we can call him "cut and paste" Dutch from now on - or do es he have to stick with the "sad crusader" that Hippo named him ??



My missus reccons his problem is sexual frustration - and judging by that beard he's supporting, she may well be right.............



my uncle Percy always used to say "never trust a bloke with a beard"

davedee



Joined: 01/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:15

oop's best I get the razor out !

LordJim


Joined: 12/10/2010
Posts: 221

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:18

this thread is againt de rules and serves no purpose the forum is a better place because of hans posts

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:20

"my uncle Percy always used to say "never trust a bloke with a beard"



Jesus....

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:21

msg 9 "Wow! Lizzie, that's a firm - but not very smart - statement! How do you know I upload crap when you don't read it..?!"



First and foremost I did not post this,and I never go on posts just to "slag" the poster off I will go on and offer my opinion, some times not always agreeing, but never to demean anyone which I might add seems to be your forte.

I await your apology

Lizzie TTs wife

IbrahimAbi


Joined: 24/10/2010
Posts: 245

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:26

what's with all the handbags girls?

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:40

On first hearing the news that her husband had spent £1,000 on a 19 year old escort, Coleen Rooney commented "I hope it's got Tax and an MOT !".

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 15:44

The dead MI6 agent found in a bag in his London flat has been named as Brian Shepherd.

He is thought to have been stabbed and put into a hot bath first.



Police are treating it as a boil in the bag Shepherds spy......

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 16:12

Knorr have released a special edition white Oxo cube to celebrate the England's World Cup campaign .... It's called the "laughing stock".

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 16:17

I'm closing this thread down as there is another 'Joke' thread running

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 16:18

This thread is now closed.



Reason: As explained above.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/12/2010 16:18

This thread is now closed.



Reason: As explained above