Joke: ... and that's how the fight started

YFred


Joined: 06/05/2009
Posts: 1471

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 12:16

thanks observer old boy



One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....



My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...





I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

YFred


Joined: 06/05/2009
Posts: 1471

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 12:18

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she

kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes," she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that’s when the fight started...

YFred


Joined: 06/05/2009
Posts: 1471

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 12:19

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always there was something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And that’s when the fight started...





My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 12:21

think no1(bill) did this thread a little while ago ....

YFred


Joined: 06/05/2009
Posts: 1471

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 12:21

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That’s proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..

When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...

She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started.....

Scoty


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 846

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 19:12

All seems very familiar as msg 4 states

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 19:19

Check Google: 85,500 times put on the Internet - BEFORE you, YFred. Sad? No, worse. Tsk.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 20:03

A man walked into a card shop and asked 'do you sell bereavement cards'? The assistant says 'we do' the man says 'can i swap it for this get well soon one'

suri32


Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 29

Message Posted:
14/12/2010 20:11

thanks fred made me laugh

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
15/12/2010 14:49

Bill top joke made me giggle, also making me have laugh thinking this going back on the top will iritate Dutch Scroogeader