Joke: HSBC Drive-Thru Banking in Girne

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 10:56

A new sign in the Bank reads:



'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.



Customers using this new facility are

requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.



After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:



1... Drive up to the cash machine.



2. LOWER your car window.



3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.



4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.



5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.



6. Raise window.



7. Drive off.



Cont...

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 10:57

FEMALE PROCEDURE:



1. Drive up to cash machine.



2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.



3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.



4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.



5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.



6. Attempt to insert card into machine.



7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.



8. Insert card.



9. Re-insert card the right way.



10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.



11. Enter PIN .



12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.



13. Enter amount of cash required.



14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.



15. Retrieve cash and receipt.



16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.



17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.



18. Re-check makeup.



cont...

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 10:59

19. Drive forward 2 feet.



20. Reverse back to cash machine.



21. Retrieve card.



22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card

holder, and place card into the slot provided!



23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.



24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.



25. Redial person on mobile phone.



26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.



27. Release Hand Brake.





Turkish customer procedure.



1. Drive up to the ATM hitting it a fatal blow.



2. Abandon vehicle and enter the bank to shout at the customer services representative.

babygirl


Joined: 13/02/2010
Posts: 109

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 12:08

I like that, very good............ and yes I am female!!!!

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 12:20

but sexist. No instructions for transvestites ?

lovingcyprus


Joined: 02/03/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
22/12/2010 15:06

Step 20 reverse back to machine ????????????????????????????