Very Funny Joke for xmas eve

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 17:30

Three Holy Men. And A Bear...



A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students at a State University.



They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard.

A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment.

They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.



Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experience.



Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find a bear and when I found him I began to read to him from the catechism.

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 17:31

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."



Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an IV drip in his arm, and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND a bear and then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.

We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul and just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 17:32

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.





The Rabbi looks up and says,



"Looking back on it, I guess circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 18:13

Good joke goonerboy. )

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 18:13

You're not telling the truth, Goonerboy. Look again (I can help you with a screenshot, if needed).

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 18:15

Please Hans. Let's just leave it, it's only a joke.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 18:21

I said (fact) that this joke was uploaded and copied/pasted 435,000 times before it (sigh) finally was copied/pasted onto C44. Making me responsible, in Goonerboy's follow-up answer, or involving me in the terrible things that happened in Bosnia is NOT a joke, Bill.

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:01

Hans I'm simply pointing out the courage of the Dutch, in no way am I directly pointing to you, just the heroics of your fellow country men (FACT)...



If you like we can post transcrips from the trials that started in 2007 about how the soldiers behaved....



...The Serbs began to "march girls and young women away from the group of refugees. They were raped." ....A Dutch soldier stood by and watched as the women were raped, even listening to music on his Walkman.... A Serb, says Subasic, "told the mother to make the child stop crying. But when the baby continued to cry, he took it from the mother and slit its throat. Then he laughed. A Dutch soldier also witnessed the murder of the baby, she says, and yet he "didn't react at all"...



Like me to go on.....

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:13

Goonerboy, your post is uncalled for. In your style and FACT also: I suggest you visit South Africa to remember the thousands of children, women and men who perished in the world's first Concentration Camps, invented by the Brits.

Now ask one of the Mods again to remove my post, because you don't like my answer to your post. Cheap to be provocative and then complain with the "authorities".

Well, whatever, I leave this thread.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:17

Goonerboy,



Why on earth are you raising this issue then other than to rile DC?



Maybe Dutch soldiers were found wanting in this particular incident, but UN "Peacekeeping" Forces the world over are often accused of similar inaction in various theatres of war.



Why are you singling out the Dutch forces?.....and why on a thread about a "Joke" ?



The points you raise are serious and valid, but maybe it should be opened out on a seperate serious thread?

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:24

I didnt ask any mod to remove your answer dutch, if anything bring it on my friend.



The problem you have is how you like to place all us brits as being the same...you dont expect anyone to come back to you with any form of an argument...



Turning to your issue of South Africa, my friend I suggest:



1) Lets look at when both issues arose, the Dutch soldiers isse is 1997 when the Holloucaust had already happened and Europe promised no such incident would ever happen again, not the 18/1700's when you are referring to.



2) Considering the role of Dutch settlers played in South Africa’s history, and the Afrikaner National Party which legislated the Apartheid-era of South Africa, funny you should raise South Africa, another peice of Dutch history to be proud of huh Dutch

Goonerboy


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 723

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:28

Cronos, we're all getting fed up with Dutch and his attempts to portray us Brits as your typical football hooligans....



He's now just pushed too far

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:31

This thread is now closed. Reason: Thread was serving no purpose.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:36

Goonerboy....I can't see where he did that but maybe it's been deleted?



As for stereotyping, all nationalities do it to each other don't they?



And I must admit,based on my time over there,certain sections of the Brit ex-pat/holiday home owner community in NC do correspond to the "hooligan" tag.

As someone else said, if they were low-life in the UK,they'll continue being low-life in NC....but thankfully they are in the minority, but they make the most noise !

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 19:52

▶ History: [ http://is.gd/jnQCE/human_rights ]. And what is the use of blaming me for anything Dutch you don't like?! I can hardly believe such a fanatical reaction after my reaction on your joke. Enjoy it if you want to reply. Adios.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 20:16

This thread is now closed. Reason: Thread was serving no purpose.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/12/2010 20:16

This thread is now closed. Reason: Thread was serving no purpose.