torn between two countries

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:32

i was born in cyprus and was brought to the uk as a child by my parents due to the unrest and violence of the 60,s and as most of you know by now i am very patriotic about cyprus ,however i have become just as patriotic about the uk and would fight for both countries ,my mother country and my adopted country,



they problem lies ,if i am in cyprus i miss the uk ,but when i come back to the uk i miss cyprus even more .



my question is does anyone else feel torn between two countries and how do they cope,i know that both countries have good and bad ,but that,s not what i am asking ,it does not have to be about the uk or cyprus ,but about any two countries.





musin



long live the kktc

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:42

musin,



I was born in the UK and the TRNC ripped my life apart! so along with many others my allegiance will stay with the UK! I would never ever fight for the TRNC!



long live the UK

mmmmmm



Joined: 19/12/2008
Posts: 8398

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:42

Musin I was brought up in N.Ireland and moved to England when I was 12.. I thought I'd NEVER recover from the trauma...



Then I moved from England to Ireland ( South ) - got ID / Soical security no



To France



To Cyprus



To Russia



back to England



Now I don't feel I belong anywhere and find nationalism - beyond supporting a national team - a pain in the neck and more trouble than it's worth..



Home is where you can find happiness ..



Long live reality

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:42

Hi Musin, like you Wales became my adopted country , now the TRNC. When I am here I miss Wales so much but when I go back there I long to get back to cyprus.If only I could find a way to spend equal time in both then I would be happy x

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:52

Hi

The only thing i miss about the UK is my family and the shops,,If all that was here id never bother going back to the UK and living here would be just perfect

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 22:56

trnc victim

that really was not my question ,however.



mmmm



i sort of understand what you are saying,still doesn,t help.



lilli

that is my problem ,maybe we are in the same boat.





musin



long live the kktc

Whistler


Joined: 28/07/2008
Posts: 1332

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 23:12

Vonny. You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel exactly the same. x

ClaireCat44



Joined: 17/09/2008
Posts: 739

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 23:23

i have spent more than half my life in turkey and cyprus and this is the first time i have ever wondered if im in the right place for me. Its all changed so much, and recently its become so expensive. Im working two jobs (local salary) but its v difficult just to live nowadays. I adore this country but i dont think i can afford to live here much longer.

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 23:32

claire



the problem is claire that the uk is even more expensive and is about to get even more so ,you get very little for your money .

But what do you do,i work harder now then i have ever done ,yes i make more money but it is not enough.



Tough eh.



musin



long live the kktc

Fawsley


Joined: 01/05/2010
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 23:40

Sometimes your real home is where you feel at home, your spiritual home. We are all searching for that only a few find it.

ClaireCat44



Joined: 17/09/2008
Posts: 739

Message Posted:
26/02/2011 23:58

this country has changed so much. My citizenship went in while Talat was still in, and then it was put on hold when the new government came in. .Now i dont know if i want it anymore.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 00:02

Fawsley you are so right x However I think my spirtual home as much as I love it hear and do feel a spirtual connection. I always thought I would end up in a country than begins with an I . Italy or Ireland being the obvious choice. Now could not afford either. Maybe India but never had the desire to go there. So I keep searching for an I

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 00:40

Lilli, Iraq or Iran



I was in the UK the other week and it was great to be back. Had some proper pub grub, saw friends.



I didn't reallly want to come back.

brother



Joined: 29/01/2010
Posts: 446

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 00:52

Msg.10: I totally agree.



Musin M: I think we should talk as we have had a similar journey by the look of it.



Don't feel so odd as you are not alone

brother



Joined: 29/01/2010
Posts: 446

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 00:57

Msg. 2: signal/noise ratio issues can be a problem. Sometimes the clearer wavelength will deliver the message more reliably. Bandwidth will ensure that you can minimise cross-channel interference most of the time and help people hear what exactly your message is.

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 01:02

Message 15?????

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 07:16

musin:



My parents were in the forces, I was born in UK I have lived all over the world ie Kenya, Middle East, Italy, Cyprus, Norway, Germany, Belgium and so many houses in UK, I can't even think of them all this early in the morning!



I have been happy where ever I have lived just as I am here in the TRNC and yes there are always things I miss where ever I am at the time but I do strongly believe in making my home where I am at the time and I throw myself in 100%



It's tough initially when you first move but if you look for the good things and don't dwell on the things you miss or those you dislike and have a positive attitude about the place, the people, the politics etc and look at all the good things of where you are, life does becomes easier



I don't know how else to explain it, maybe I am just used to moving on but most importantly I would not change my life for anything, I have had wonderful life and experiences.



Think of the song 'Where ever I lay my hat, that's my h

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 08:39

Musim. Try a long stay in Cyrpus, then an equal length in U. K., make it at the same time of the year in both which of course will involve two years, keep lists of pros and cons as you are living through it, the one with the most pros, has to be the winner. Could never be an exact science because life has a way of throwing curve balls at you.

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 08:42

Musin;

Unlike you and brother I only spent half my life in UK.I've now been back 3 years and as much as the initial intention of moving back was to have a more relaxing life and being here for my mother who had a major heart operation year before,I soon got bored of not having a reason to get up for.With the change of financial situation as well,I now do a little bit of ducking and diving (working for my brother) which gives me something to do,pays for my NI here and perhaps puts a little pocket money in my pocket too.

Of course my financial situation changed,I've had months of having to live on 850tl here,but I'm still alive and kicking.Then again,I no longer work 14-16 hours a day either.Living here has thought me to live by ones means,where else in uk I wouldn't think twice to spent £3-400 on my hard weekend parties almost every week.

Do I miss UK?NO.Do I miss my friends in UK?Like HELL I DO.But thechnology is a great thing to keep in contact.

There has to be a turning point in.

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 08:45

cont..........



....ones life and mine was then........



so bro,don't let anything or anyone but yourself to inspire you in your decesion.



Hope we get to meet as well sometimes.

0533 873 9181

Sal

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:00

MUSIN M:



I have lived for equal amounts of time in UK, New Zealand and Cyprus. I have to say that as a non-Cypriot, although I've always been very happy in Cyprus [North & South], I can never feel that I belong - despite 30 years of residence. This is because of my status as a 'Visitor' and the necessity to have to go through the visa application process every year. Also, let's face it, any foreigner can be deported 'at the drop of a hat' in TRNC, so how can one feel one 'belongs'?



Last time I went back to New Zealand, I soon got bored and wanted to return to Cyprus - this, I think, was because I have developed more of a 'European mentality'! As for UK; if I went back to live there I would find myself a complete stranger, as nearly all family members, apart from a rarely seen cousin, are dead, and I only have two, or three, friends whom I still have occasional contact with.



TRNC could be paradise, if only this country had a government that cared about its own people - >>>

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:02

As the U2 song says "I still haven't found what I'm looking for".........Striving to be Happy is as important as achieving Happiness ....

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:16

Msg 19 cont'd: It's glaringly obvious that they don't. You just have a 'Rich Club', whose only aim is to further line their own pockets and have the attitude of 'stuff the peasants!' - very sad, and hardly the recipe for the long term survival of the TRNC.



You don't mention how regularly you return to TRNC, or if so, for how long at any one time. If you came back to live, try to start a business, work, or even retire, have you any idea how you are likely to be treated by those you have always thought of as your 'brothers'? Well, I can tell you that many 'Charlies' very soon find that they have been living in a 'cloud nine cuckoo land' of misplaced nostalgia when they return here! Unless you have the right connections, because 'Nepotism Rules!' in Cyprus, it can and so often does happen that returned Cypriots are treated like, not 2nd, but 3rd Class citizens by their compatriots. I only recently met a TC, who had just come back, hopefully to retire 'to the land of his roots' >>

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:31

Ten, saying that the government does not care about it's people is true,but is a statement which could be applied to many other so called civilised countries....".Utopian dreams" are exactly that ...

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:34

Msg 19 cont'd: only to find his own people, apart from not making him feel welcome, cheated him all ways - i.e., on an apartment he bought, and again by Customs when he brought his car [from Melbourne] - he had been 40 years in Australia. The poor guy just wanted to get back to Oz, ASAP - after what he told me, I didn't blame him. He was a really good guy, too - I felt so sorry for him.



As 'Pollymarples' suggests, you need to spend equal time both in TRNC and UK to be able to determine where you are happiest and most contented.



I agree with your heartfelt sentiments of: 'Long live KKTC!' - but if the 'powers that be' don't implement the necessary changes very soon, most TC's won't be able to survive, and foreigners will simply shun the place, both as a holiday, or retirement, destination. Every right minded person, TC, or foreigner, wishes to see the TRNC prosper, but only those in power can implement the changes for it to happen. Why can't they see it?

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 09:44

There are none so blind than those who WILL NOT SEE. I love the TRNC, I just hope the politicians do too.

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 10:50

TEN ,I think the reason they(the Government)don't implement changes is because they think they are" DOING A GOOD JOB"!!! suffering as they do from nepotism and a Myopic vision of what could be .............

ulker


Joined: 25/01/2011
Posts: 18

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 11:23

I have a business colleague who Spent half his life (including high school and University) in UK but says he would never want to live in UK. Apparently he craved to return (which he did few years ago) and having gone through the financial ups and downs as everyone does, never even considered returning back.



I am also living with my family who have settled here, and would love to stay in Cyprus, if I can manage to get a job related to my degree - Even if it means I can easily get one in Turkey at twice the wages a private company would pay here. Cyprus is beautiful, and like a huge "health resort" - lovely weather, close to nature, fresh air, nice smell of food and fruits everywhere, plenty of daylight and open windows!

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 11:35

martinD41:



We know that - the problem is that they don't and are too stubborn, proud, or uncaring to listen and learn!



Corrective measure have been 'put on a plate' for them - with nil response - never mind acceptance!



Having already consolidated their wealth during the 'boom' - now there is no need for them to care.



The populace keep voting for the same people, time and time again, and as has been pointed out in another telling posting today, people just can't help themselves from voting for [alleged] rogues - incredible as it may seem to any rationally thinking person.

brother



Joined: 29/01/2010
Posts: 446

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 17:38

Msg.16: Msg2 ??? (Do you receive a coherent message? I just get the noise part every time).

brother



Joined: 29/01/2010
Posts: 446

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 17:54

There is also another aspect to the feeling of being "torn between two countries". That is when regardless of the fact that one's birthplace is in one of them, one has spent significant time in the other since a young child. Coupled with the fact that there has been little contact with any people from one's ethnic origins it is inevitable that - in my case - one experiences a cultural transition. For some of us, it may be that it would be impossible to accept the way of life we left behind even if everything was "normal" back in our birthplace. The fundamental reason being we are essentially a cultural enigma. That is, not only would we find the local culture confusing and frustrating but more awkwardly, other (local) people would find us odd and confusing.

In my view, some of the awakening of feeling towards their birthplace by people like me is based on becoming more aware - thanks to external education - and being frustrated by what they see: essentially, a demise of a people

Fawsley


Joined: 01/05/2010
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 19:29

Lilli,



Looking for an I, Ireland (or should that be Eire) should be able to afford it there now. What with all the financial problems housing prices are dropping though the floor.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 19:41

Hi Fawsley strangley enough Guido has just been offered a job in Galway. I think the time maybe right. Just waiting on the election results. You are so right should be Eire. When I used to write to me granny it was the irish free state I had to put on the address. We will see xxxxxx

Fawsley


Joined: 01/05/2010
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
27/02/2011 23:45

Lilli,



Change of government!



Flew into Shannon the other year for a long weekend, my wife wanted to see the dolphins. Only one problem... couldn't get a pint of guiness!! everything else brilliant.

Pixie


Joined: 18/03/2009
Posts: 489

Message Posted:
28/02/2011 10:08

Lived in 4 countries and moved maybe 30 times. Been to 16 different schools. Never felt british : birth- 7years old, never felt australian 7-18 years old, took me a long time to adjust ti Istanbul 18-31 years old, and now finally in North Cyprus 31-34 years old. Took me a long time to feel comfortable with myself about my identity. Turkish Cypriots don't accept you completely. I feel like a world citizen, and I tryto think about what Ive gained, as opposed to what Ive lost. There are many like us around. When people ask me where are you from I say Im Turlish Cypriot and leave it at that.

Yes there are a lot of problems and frustrations in this country, and who knows how long we will be here for. But I feel that Im comfortable now with what I am, I don't pine for Australia or Istanbul anymore, and Home is really where the heart is. Its wherever your family and loved ones are.

goldheart666


Joined: 04/12/2010
Posts: 52

Message Posted:
03/03/2011 18:58

I also lived in Turkey after I left the country which I was born and now I live in Cyprus.I would prefer to live in this lovely country in the future.

walkerscott


Joined: 13/08/2009
Posts: 901

Message Posted:
03/03/2011 19:47

if you can feel at home with yourself then you can be anywhere ...



if you don't go within, you go without ...



live your dreams ... don't live by default ...



stay in the NOW and appreciate the evermoment

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
03/03/2011 20:06

message 37...............love, love love it!!!!! Might have to copy that............

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
03/03/2011 20:11

walker scott that is so true. Shrimp he has some amazing views. I love reading them.

walkerscott


Joined: 13/08/2009
Posts: 901

Message Posted:
03/03/2011 20:33

Create your life, don't wait for life to happen ...

Be careful not to get into too much doingness. Allow your choices to be declarations of beingness. All life exists as an opportunity for you to experience being who you really are. And who you are has nothing to do with what you are doing. Many imagine that happiness comes from what you are doing, yet happiness of any real variety can only come from beingness.

So decide what you want to be, whether it be happy?, secure?, peaceful?, loving? Get clear about your intention, then move into every moment of Now prepared to fill that moment with your intention in action. DO nothing which does not match your intention, does not vibrate in harmony with it. When you come from your intention, you will find that certain behaviours will tend to drop away. Your life will see a shift, a major movement, a leap into consciousness at the next level. That is what your present lifetime is all about. Moving to the next level!

God Bless

goldheart666


Joined: 04/12/2010
Posts: 52

Message Posted:
05/03/2011 15:37

I love Cyprus

Meerkat


Joined: 21/01/2011
Posts: 368

Message Posted:
05/03/2011 16:22

There are lots of people who feel like this. They miss UK when they are here & when they get back they miss N.Cyprus. I starting missing UK & getting very home sick after the first winter. They say if you love the winters & can survive the winters in N. Cyprus then you will cope. I know the winters are cold in UK but we are warm in the houses & plenty of entertainment. I think for me personally i will enjoy N.Cyprus when we come back for holidays, i think it is very different when you live there to coming for a long holiday, it has got really expensive & standards are poor. It is still very behind & that is what I struggled with the most, electric cuts, water, just basic needs really which were affecting normal day living. I will enjoy coming back for the summer break & to see family & friends of course.

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
06/03/2011 13:27

salahi msg 20



sal thanx for that ,just one question how long did it take too mix with tc,s and get accepted as a tc and not a london tc or do you ever .



i have lots of family in cyprus ,however i would like to carve my on way and not have too depend on anyone else ,no different from the uk really and maybe start some sort of buisness ,not quite so sure yet.





also does make a large difference if your wife is not turkish ,although she speaks fluent turkish .



i will be in cyprus end of may ,early june i have taken your number and will try to get in touch.



musin



long live the kktc

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
06/03/2011 14:40

MUSIN M;

Unles one speaks a fluent 'new' Cypriot Turkish without an accent,one'll never be accepted as TC.

Most harms I got since being back have come from my family,so now I keep away.My wife is also not turkish (Irish) and it took a long while to be accepted,though I must admit,she is well respected by my family now.I suppose thats to do with her being Irish.She doesn not speak fluent Turkish yet,but certainly gets by,where I no longer need to be there to translate.

As for starting up a bussiness,I haven't bothered,not been brave enough yet and don't think I will in the future either.



ps.Have you done your national service yet?If not contact me via e-mail.I'll give you few tips on that.Did it for a 65 year old last year and he got away.Not that he should at that age.He has saved his £3000 and now free to come and go as he wishes.Otherwise you'll be stuck with 90 days a year barrier.

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
06/03/2011 15:39

salahi



yes i do understand about ,the new cypriot , no she speaks the old way .



still she does not have an irish accent ,well only when she speaks to her family ,then it,s 4000 miles an hour.



i will be in touch ,thanx.



musin



long live the kktc

brother



Joined: 29/01/2010
Posts: 446

Message Posted:
06/03/2011 22:20

Msg.44,yorgozlu: What is this 'new' TC Turkish based on please. Is it along the lines of "sınav" instead of "imtihan" etc. etc.



Do you have any sources for further ınfo?



Perhaps I will also drop you an email (before I'm 65) to see how the conscription exemption works.

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
07/03/2011 00:25

brother;

You just need to tune into turksat every now and then to see what I mean about new cypriot turkish.Of course one also must not forget to add the brit/cypriot accent to that as well as 'yes','no','thank you',bizim ondaaaaaa londradaaaaa...........



There is no exemption on national service,one just has to find the loop-hole.I did.



If only I knew what I know now,26 years ago.

philnles


Joined: 11/08/2008
Posts: 413

Message Posted:
07/03/2011 10:56

Been here for 3 + years. Enjoyed it but bored with it now. Trying to get anything official done here is a bloody nightmare,shrugging of the shoulders must be taught at a very early age! So glad we kept a place in UK. Things are expensive in UK, but if you apply yourself in UK you can do well. Laws apply to ALL people in UK and its a level playing field for everyone. I really do enjoy some of the people here, but I enjoy the people in the UK to. I enjoy the food here but I do enjoy the food in the UK. The choices in the UK far outway the choices here. I never realised how nice it was to be sitting in the damp UK and booking a holiday in the sunshine. I think I can maybe see us returning to the UK and keeping our house here as a holiday home.

Sid447


Joined: 15/05/2009
Posts: 141

Message Posted:
07/03/2011 12:04

Mssg/post #3,



agree! After living in several different countries,



home is where the heart is and really don't give a fig for patriotism.