Celibacy

Biker



Joined: 11/01/2008
Posts: 396

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 16:11

A woman thought to be Britain's oldest virgin has celebrated her 105th birthday - and said the secret to long life is celibacy.



Retired secretary Clara Meadmore said she never wanted a family and happily lived with her cats before moving into care in January this year.



Biker

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 17:23

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the

receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will

prepared.



The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.



The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my

life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it

be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"



The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went

to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and

the will.



The lawyer's first question was,

"Would you please tell me what

you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed

under your will?"



She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here,

I have £40,000 in my savings account at the bank."



"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the £40,000 to

be distributed?"



The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 17:24

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide £35,000 for my funeral."



The lawyer remarked, "Well, for £35,000 you will be able to have

a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting

impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you!

But tell me," he continued, what would you like to do with the

remaining £5,000?"



The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. I'd like you to use the £5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."



"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but

I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."



That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the

eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about

how much she could do around the house with £5,000

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 17:25

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the

eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about

how much she could do around the house with £5,000, and with a

bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.



She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."



The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.



Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his

head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the

Council bury her!"

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 18:20

AND IT'S NOT HEREDITARY!

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 19:28

Neither is impotence...

MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 19:32

biker

celibacy is the key to long life ,s..t i,m a dead man walking.

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 19:55

I think longevity is genetic, and there are many examples of those

who live to old age having all kinds of lives. See our local heroine

Peggy who sky-dived to celebrate her centenary. Live life to the full,

but not knocking celibacy - each to his/her own.

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 22:35

One of my former jobs involved interviewing centenarians to see if they were still mentally fit enough to get a telegram from the Queen to celebrate their 100th birthday and beyond... Getting a telegram out of the blue could be quite unsettling for someone whose last telegram told them of the loss of a loved one... so we had to make sure...



They were 99% women and on asking them what most of them had done in the way of work etc. it was quite striking that most of them had been women who'd married well and been provided for with servants and nannys etc to take the load off... i.e. they nearly all had had very little in the way of stress or hard labour to contend with.... Very few if any were celebate as they had nearly all been married...

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 22:52

I believe that long life is hereditary but stress shortens it. On the other hand if you have a good marriage with minimum stress, regular sex only lengthens the lifespan because of increased hormonal activity an a better circulation of blood.

ismet

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 23:44

Sounds alright to me, Ismet!

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
10/10/2008 23:56

This conversation puts me in mind of the chap who asks his doctor if he stops drinking, eating fine food and chasing women will he live to be 100 years old. His doctor told him "Noit will just seem like it!" Yes live life to the full!

McSteviet



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1089

Message Posted:
11/10/2008 00:01

Ismet,



I'm with you.



MC

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
11/10/2008 00:03

And the oldest woman in Europe is illiterate, and has had a very

hard life. Certainly not one of the privileged. Still go for genetics,

but life-style can affect. Excesses of anything are a no no.

Eat less fatty, farmed meat, drink moderate alcohol, and most important,

take plenty exercise (not just in bed) walking, swimming etc.

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
11/10/2008 00:32

phylray, you are absolutely spot on.

Biker



Joined: 11/01/2008
Posts: 396

Message Posted:
13/10/2008 19:12

Do I detect that most members seem to favour the thought of a regular satisfying sex life contributes to a much healthier and longer life?



Biker

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
13/10/2008 19:27

On the one hand regular nookie is said to lengthen one's life, yet stress reduces the lifespan. So what's the prognosis for all the people getting screwed by their builders in the TRNC?

cruggs


Joined: 06/04/2008
Posts: 498

Message Posted:
13/10/2008 19:50

i am still a virgin, i tried it once but did not like it,but now am looking forward to my 105th birthday also.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
13/10/2008 20:19

The following information is only intended for male readers and is quite explicit.



Any female readers should look away now.

















A recent survey in Sweden has found that unexpected Male Celibacy is increasing dramatically in the late 40's age group. This is most prevalent in sedentary occupations such as IT workers and can be exacerbated by

being a cyclist or biker.

This lifestyle causes overheating of the testes and lack of bloodflow to the penis, causing infertility and erectile dysfunction.

A further complication is an increased suscetibility to Prostate problems.



Any male in this group, not in a sexual relationship, can attempt to reverse these problems by regular masturbation. This will aid the 'flushing', and health of the prostate.



The World Health Organisation advocates this in their 'A Wank a Day Keeps the Prostate at Bay' campaign.



The full report is available from Stockholm University Hospital and is written by Dr. Youf Bin Ad.







rob

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
13/10/2008 22:38

I,m looking for a deaf and dumb nymphomaniac, so I can tell her to shut up she wont answer me back and she always wants it.