Joke:- Well I Have Not Heard Them Before (but you might have) but funn

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
18/04/2011 13:08

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."

"F**k that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"







Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead"

The operator says how do you know?

He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!







I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the

biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg"







I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.

They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
18/04/2011 13:10

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you

believe that 2:30am?!



Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.







I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.

I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't

get an erection...

but she did.

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
18/04/2011 13:11

A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.

The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him...



"Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn,"

replies the man

nervously.

"What do you do, just across the Severn ?", "I'm a taxidermist."

"What on earth is one of those?",



"I mount animals."

"Its alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.







Spent £40 on ebay last week for a penis enlarger.

Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass!







I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!

At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.







An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks have you ever been bedridden?

she says yes I have and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too.