Any advice Please

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 13:53

As most of you know now I am moving down under to be close to my Dad

Problem is

I haven't even really ever met him

He and my mum divorced when I was 3 and he has been there ever since,

And I don't know what to expect

I talk to him on Pal talk (like msn) but thats it

I am getting nervous



What should I expect after 36 years

Susie x

ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 13:59

Just love him and enjoy him as your dad (both good and bad points) and everything will be fine

Littlenige



Joined: 24/12/2006
Posts: 3594

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 13:59

Expect nothing, be prepared to give everything, listen to what he says and love him for who he is.



As with all relations ships time is a great thing is heals and lets things grow.



Good luck to you.



Little nige

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:01

Scampy - he's a stranger to you. It's like being on this forum we all post and refer to each other by their name or pseudonym, but we don't know each other. We can get an idea what each of us is like by the content of each others post but we don't know about the person. You may hate the man when you finally meet him. Keep an open mind and try and find out as much as you can about him before you form an opinion.

I wish you the best of luck.

ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:02

thats excellent advice Nige

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:03

Don't expect instant rapport, if it comes it comes... if it takes time it's probably all for the good. Whatever you do don't become too reliant upon him too soon.



You will undoubtedly take a long time to get use to each other, your children (his grandchildren) will be common ground for you both.. let them be the catalyst for a long and happy re-union.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:07

A hell of a lot of pocket money for a kick off.............

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:09

After being on my own here for 7 years, I am very independant anyway, he did try and tell me the things that happened but I said I was never told anything as I was a baby

Do I really want to know after all this time????



He is being very helpful..

I am not going to stay with him anyway he is going to book us into a hotel till I find a rental



What if he don't like me?????

newlad



Joined: 02/03/2008
Posts: 7819

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:12

Susie,

Just be yourself,this will take time.Dont expect too much.This will probably be one of the biggest decisions of your life so take it nice and slowly.Best of luck and keep smiling.I am sure your sense of humour will carry you along,

Regards,

Paul.

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:13

What if he don't like me?



He doesn't have to like you. The same as you don't have to

Like him. Ok, you been talking to him over the Internet, but you won't know him until you had many one to ones. Yes they'll be tears and no doubt resentments - but hey, you can walk away can't you?

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:19

No 1 Doyen



I am not resentfull at all; I am in the middle of a divorce myself so I know there are right's and wrong's on both sides,

I do know my older brother went over there a couple of years ago and they didn't get on too well but he has a big chip on his shoulder

Whereas I don't

I think it was far too long ago



Live for now



Susie x

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:20

loads of christmas present's..........................

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:21

Birthday present's.......................

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:25

Who has the chip on his shoulder-your Dad or your Brother?

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:27

Scampy.. I bet there is nothing more he wants than to meet you and your family.You know blood is thicker than water and if you go there with your present attitude it will be game set and match.I have adaughter alittle older than you who I have not see. for the same time as yu have not seen your dad and I know one thing is for sure sahe would not get shunned if she knocked on my door tomorrow..Go for it Scampy you have everything to gain and nothing to loose ..best of luck..

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:34

This is really bizarre, in fact a really bizarre morning. Anyway I have a friend in Auz whom could be your older sister. She has just this minute signed into MSM how mad is that.

Anyway she is in Brisbane . well, on the out skirts. She had been living in the UK, another amazing story.

Has just returned home to Auz after 40 years she is coming 60.

Check her out on FACE BOOK.

One of the most beautiful souls I have ever met.



Her name is

Roo or Pauline Cowham

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:35

My brother has the chip on his shoulder

Nunu1


Joined: 31/03/2008
Posts: 536

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:38

Scampy, go with an open mind. Your Dad will probably be just as nervous as you. Try and find a nice small present to take along, something with appropriate words attached like some ornament that he can look at every day.



Or if He has a hobby, a small present associated with that hobby?



Does he like a drink? if so suggest a couple of drinks to loosen you both up.......and dont bloody smoke too much if you do!!! Sorry Im assuming......I just hate the smell of tobacco. Yes Im an non smoker.



So RElax.....deep breathe.....smile!!!



Things will be fine....you must have some idea whar your Dad is like?



Good luck!



nunu

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:39

Scampy. What type of life does your Father have in AustRalia?

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:42

I have no idea what he is like

But from talking to him I think we should be ok

And yes I do smoke but so does he and after flying for 38 hours I know what I will be doing

I don't know about any hobbie's but he has found I today I have a family heirloom that he thought was lost

A set of table that were made when I was born in Singapore, I have them since my nana (his mum) died 8 years ago

Susie x

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:43

Remember life is a journey. The outcome of your move maybe not what you hope. But at least you will be able to put closure on it.



Sometimes we build up our expectations of someone we should love, and are deflated when we are faced with the truth. In your case it is a big move and a lot hangs on this.



Remember that when we write something down on pages like this , we have had time to think about our words, you will build up a picture of someone to be disollusioned on face to face contact.



So if you have little expectations and look at the adventure in front of you go it can only get better.



Good Luck and if you need a friend how far are you from my beautiful friend Roo.

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:47

I am going to Cairns on the great Barrier reaf



Also and doctor's or nurse's out there to give me medical advice for the flight

(Blood problem) please

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:54

think i would have a long holiday there first ??

Nunu1


Joined: 31/03/2008
Posts: 536

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:55

Scampy, Hope I did not hit a raw nerve with the smoking issue...Im just trying to help. Im not a doctor, but I would suggest gentle light excercise like swimming for a couple of days before your flight. Ease back on the booze and ciggies. Get some early nights etc.



Do some light stretching and if you can understand moditation do that as well. It will help you to relax. You need to get on that plane feeling relaxed not uptight or worried.



You will be fine.....Look at some airline web sites that will advise on doing light excercises when you are on the plane. You have to keep the blood pumping around your body to avoid DVT.



Relax and have a wonderful time....I too hope to visit AUS one day!



nunu

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:56

No work here now, and for a single mum it's too hard struggling and all that

There is work there too

Nunu1


Joined: 31/03/2008
Posts: 536

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:56

That should have read meditation! Sorry Scampy!



nunu

sassycypgirl


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 99

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 14:56

Scampy



Have you made enquiries as to the entry requirements for Auss?

As your birth father is there does that give you automatic entry?



Be yourself and I am sure your father will love you and the girls



Its a long way to go with the girls so I do hope that you make the right decision

How does Paul feel about you taking the girls even further away?



Good luck

Sassy

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:04

Nunu

That is the problem I take warferin (no jokes please) everyday as my blood clots too much

It's the opposit to being an hemaphiliac

I had a clot on my lungs once and it nearly killed me and that was due to being in hospital for 2 days

And my blood preasure goes through the roof just going to the UK

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:04

Start taking a 1/4 asprin to thin the blood. A tot of whisky will do

Wear your flight socks and keep moving those legs.



When are you going?

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:07

So if you take warfarin you will have that checked regulary, have a tot of whisky a night. Wear the socks and move about.

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:07

I can't take asprin as I take warferin (thins the blood more)

I am going as soon as I have sold my Apt and jeep



Oh I don't do whisky

Nunu1


Joined: 31/03/2008
Posts: 536

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:13

I would suggest you see a very good Doctor before considering going.



It is a very long flight. Have you considered a cruise? Going by ship will take a long time but you will have the time of your life!!!!!!!!



nunu

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:15

My daughter gets travel sick

and I think that would cost a small fortune

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:18

Brandy .... bicardi....vodca....



You will be OK,

Prior to going let the flight company know your health issues, never know you might be lucky and get into 1st class.



Have you checked out my friend on face book it is uncanny,

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:21

Gilken

Why is it uncanny and how do I check out facebook

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:21

I sell lucky white heather.................

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:24

knew you would come up with something jock

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 15:33

Type in Face book in the search engine and then do a search on Pauline Cowham her picture will come up.



check her out , you look like you could be related, and she lives in Auz

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 16:54

ok will try it

no1doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 17:13

under no circumstances should you take aspirin with warfarin.

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 17:29

I know



But then again you shouldn't drink Either,, I think I did a lot of that yesterday

You shouldn't eat mushrooms too

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:17

What magic ones !!!!

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:20

Jock you gotta have the last word aint ya



No normal one's

Which is really bad because I love them



Still eat them though



Well rules are there to be broken

Aint they????

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:22

Hey Jock



What do you think thire gonna make of me down under

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:24

I think the abbo's will love you, cos we all do.................

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:26

Nobody told me mushrooms were bad for you, i love them....

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:32

Yeah and grapefruit juice is dodgy with medicines



http://www.aafp.org/afp/20060815/611ph.html

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:36

Scampy...Have you tried "flight socks" They are good when you are flying cos they keep the bloody circulating.I use them all the time and I would think they would be ideal on that long flight...

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:52

scampy if the Aussie's dont like you they can leave you at the side of the plate..........

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 18:59

Jock

Get with it

You cant have mushrooms when your on warferin



Will they like my sense of humor

newlad



Joined: 02/03/2008
Posts: 7819

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 20:54

Christ,

This has turned into Dr Finlays case book lol.Susie you are too young to remember it,

Paul.

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 21:06

Paul



Yes I think maybe I am



Susie x

newlad



Joined: 02/03/2008
Posts: 7819

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 21:33

Susie,

Only just though.

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 21:33

Oh Doctor Cameron I've got terrible heartburn...



Well Janet sit up straight and get your tit out of the porridge!

newlad



Joined: 02/03/2008
Posts: 7819

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 21:44

Aye Janet Aye.

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
19/10/2008 21:46

Scampy

As one who didn't meet my father until shortly before my 21st birthday at least I can go some way to understanding how you may be feeling. You should not expect to be able to make up for lost time. There are many emotions to be aware of but not for airing on a public forum. İf I can help further please contact me off list. I am away from internet access for a few days.

Hector

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 02:57

Do you have an entry visa and do you satisfy immigration criteria for Australia?

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 14:25

Cairns looks beautiful

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 18:30

Hi All

Just got in



Yes I have got an entry visa

Hector

Email me when you get back on-line



Thanks everyone else



I'm gonna miss all this, but then again I might join in from there...

Susie x

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 19:01

yeh , you should definatly discuss your travel plans with your doctor your pro ratio will have to be done before you travel so they can work out the amount you will need , flight socks , unrestrictive clothes regular foot and leg exercises get up and about as much as you can and make sure you don't get dehydrated are all very necessary precautions ,

good luck , simbas

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 20:13

Thanks simbas

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 22:17

scampy.. When you get to Cairns just remember one thing .STAYOUT of the rivers and some parts of the coast. they have some rather nasty inhabitants but you will probably be educated by your father about those...and definately do what Simbas says,I have to do it because of my condition and it works,but most of all drink plenty of water...I really do hope every thing goes well for you.. Bon Voyage...

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 22:48

COACHIE what condition is that???

And I am not gone yet

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 22:57

Scampy ..I had a Quadruple heart pass op 4years ago and I have to take several preventative medicines,fortuneately Warferin isnt one of them.As apoint of interest have you informed your insurers of your medication,if not do so before you go, because there might be a clause that says they will not cover you whilst you are travelling.I have to pay an extra £90 pound on my travel insurance....

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 23:03

COACHIE

Since being here I have never bothered with travel insurance as I don't go very far and normally just to the UK

I don't think they would cover me anyway

What insurance company would cover someone on a long haul flight that suffers with blood clotting

Susie x

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 23:09

Scampy..From what I can gather its what medication you take to keep in under control.If you go on the net under travel insurance companies and just search till you come up with sometghing.I get mine through Norwich union but make sure you tell them everything about your condition and also that you only require a one policy....

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 23:13

ok will try it

susie x

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
20/10/2008 23:16

susie ..good luck..

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
21/10/2008 14:28

Scampy... don't mention Mohali...



Aussies really really don't like a thrashing (unless they are paying for it... oops!)