risqué joke of the day

ebbern5


Joined: 03/06/2008
Posts: 79

Message Posted:
30/06/2011 13:16

An old sailor fancied a good night out. After a few too many drinks he landed up in a Brothel.





He had spent some time with the young lady of his choice and inquired " How am I doing ? "



Well said the lady to the old sea dog "Your doing about 3 Knots at present "

"what do you mean by that " he answered.



She said ......... Your Not hard Your Not in and your Not getting your money back.

DoctorW


Joined: 28/11/2010
Posts: 334

Message Posted:
30/06/2011 13:41

An elderly farmer in Louisiana owned a farm for many years he had a large pond on his land which was ideal for swimminig. Over the years he had planted fruit trees around it for shade.





One day he decides to pick some fruit, so grabbing an empty bucket he wanders down to the pond where he notices several young ladies skinny dipping. He coughed to make them aware of his presence, with a shriek of embarrasment one of them shouts we are not coming out of here naked until you go.





He replied 'I have not not come here to see you girls swimming naked or getting out of the pond naked, Holding up his bucket he says 'I have just come down to feed the alligators'.





Some old men can still think fast, even if other parts are worn out!

Jonesy299


Joined: 07/02/2009
Posts: 367

Message Posted:
30/06/2011 14:57

Young lad and his girlfriend just enjoyed sex and, after knotting the condom and flushing it down the toilet, returns to bed:

Girl - Do you love me?

Boy- Yes.. of course I do

Girl - Do you think we'll get married and have a family one day?

Boy (yawning) - Yes.. one day perhaps

Girl - What shall we call our first child?

Boy (glancing at the bathroom) Bloody Houdini if he gets out of that!