Old Jokes are the funniest

stewy


Joined: 18/10/2008
Posts: 279

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 02:11

Two cows are standing in a field, talking to each other. One cow says, "Hey, aren't you worried about getting that mad cow disease everyone is talking about?"

The other cow says, "Why should I? I'm a chicken."

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 10:09

This white horse walks in to a bar, and ask's the barman for a whisky, the barman says" We have a whisky named after you" The horse say's "what DOBBIN" !!!!!

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 10:17

ahhhhhhhhhh , somebody make them stop please

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 10:51

Two dog's where sitting playing dominoes in a pub, when a horse walk's in to the bar and ask's the barman for a drink, one of the dog's turns round to the other dog and say's " Fancy that a talking Horse"!!!!!!

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 18:35

Two goldfish in a tank, One turns to the other and says...

'Do you know how to drive this thing'?

dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 21:29

Three dogs at the vet's.

The collie said to the pit bull, 'what you here for?'

Pitbull says 'oh I bit the postman so its the injection for me'

The collie asked the dalmation when he was in for.

The dalmation said, 'Oh I chewed the new carpet so its the needle for me as well'

They asked the collie why he was there. He said 'Well one night I was asleep in the kitchen when mistress came down for a drink in her see-through nightie, such a sexy sight that I couldnt contain myself and I mounted her'

They said 'Oh poor thing, you're for the needle as well?'

Collie said, 'Nah, just to get my claws clipped'

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 22:28

Two eggs boiling in the saucepan... one says "It's bloody hot in here" the other replies "Wait 'til you you get out... they bash your head in!"

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 22:35

What's the difference between Joan Collins and the Eiffel Tower... not everyone's been up the Eiffel Tower



Sorry Joan...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
11/11/2008 22:54

Some of the worst jokes ..ever!



Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The

ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."



A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."



Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"



"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home!

That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome" "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."



An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.



I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor,doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cutoff your arms!"



What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.



T

DaveA



Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 30

Message Posted:
12/11/2008 20:07

Hedgehog trying to cross the road,its getting dark

a rabbit says whats up,the hedgehog says everytime we try to cross the road we get run over,the rabbit says i will show you how to cross,they see headlights coming over the hill and the rabbit runs to the middle of the road and just before the car reaches him he ducked and the car passed over him,he went back to the hedgehog and said there you are that was easy,you try,so the hedgehog went to the middle of the road a car came and he ducked,splat the rabbit says them reliant robins get everywere

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
12/11/2008 20:21

Two boys were arrested for strange activities when one was caught eating gunpowder and the other was collared drinking battery acid...



They charged one and let the other one off.....

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
12/11/2008 20:36

Grouco msg 8, Surely that should be,,,,Whats the difference between Joan Collins and a kit-kat ?

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
12/11/2008 22:42

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?





















Jurassic Pork!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
12/11/2008 23:53

I always wanted to be a tap dancer, i was no good i kept falling in the sink............

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
13/11/2008 00:21

There was this Irishman that bought a newspaper shop!



It blew away!



Lem