25 Things Never To Say During Sex ( JOKE )

lesleyd



Joined: 05/06/2007
Posts: 265

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 18:54

1) is it in?

2) that’s it?

3) you’ve got to be kidding me.

4) (phone rings) hello? oh nothing and you?

5) do I have to pay for this?

6) do I have to call you tomorrow?

7) oh momma, momma!

8 ) oh daddy, daddy!

9) you look better in the dark.

10) this is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.

11) I thought that goes in the other hole….

12) don’t tell my husband/wife.

13) you have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it).

14) this sucks.

15) can you finish now? I have a meeting…

16) I hope you don’t expect a raise for this…

17) I think you might get the job for this.

18) damn! is that all you know what to do.

19) did I tell you, I have herpes?

20) now we must get married.

21) hurry up, the games about to start.

22) I’m hungry.

23) I’m thirsty.

24) zzzzzzzzzzzz.

25) are you trying to be funny?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 19:06

or you do it just like my brother/ sister

my mum/dad does it better

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 19:57

Have you started?



I've finished!



Lem

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 19:59

if you are having sex with a dentist dont tell him you cant feel a thing he is likely to be upset for a change

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:06

I did get tempted once to tell someone to hurry up cause I was bored

Susie x

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:07

Well i never............

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:09

I knew you would say that

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:11

That's what i like about you....

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:12

whats that

My honesty or humour

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:12

Fellas,



Enjoy Rodeo Sex...



Mount your partner from behind and when things are getting hot, call out another girl's name and then see how long you can stay on! Yee Ha!



Sorry ladies... I couldn't resist it...

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:13

is incest relatively boring

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:15

very good Groucho I think I wouls just flip my head upwards Och



Take a tip girls, never have sex with someone like a rabbit, (like the sex in the city episode)



Very boring and crap

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:16

Who's talking incest Rocky???

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:18

isnt that what hippies use to burn

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:19

I'm too young mate

dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:22

you're not on

you're not in



and you're not having your money back

Rogerdoger


Joined: 04/09/2008
Posts: 102

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:22

What are the three words women do not like to hear whle their making love



" Honey I'm Home"

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:24

or whats for dinner........

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 20:25

I've got a good one

Personally used by my man a few months ago



we both woke up and were talking all night fron about 3am

Then about 5am I said "what time did we go to sleep" He said " I think about 1am we were making love for 2 hours" I said

"did I miss that" I laughed so much I had stomach ache



It's a favorate saying of ours now

newlad



Joined: 02/03/2008
Posts: 7819

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 22:19

My wife always says "when you have finished make sure you put my nightie back"

Paul.

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 22:25

hope ure not pregnant

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 22:28

Is that a crack in the ceiling?

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 22:35

Top Tip:



When food replaces sex in your life... put a mirror over the dining table...



Well at least you get it three times a day... and if you do skip one the next is even better!

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 23:03

Grow up you lot!



Have you never had an Efes in an ice gold glass, then a good nights sleep.



Oh the frailties of youth!



wyn

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 23:08

Obviously not getting any....

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 23:23

Goucho,



Is this another of your theories?



wyn

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
14/11/2008 23:25

winge,



No but it could be....

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 11:38

sorry darling did I make you drop a stitch

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 11:41

I must say my STD is clearing up nicely!

craig2536


Joined: 09/06/2007
Posts: 277

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 14:47

pass the remote eastenders is on

gemma


Joined: 10/08/2008
Posts: 107

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 15:17

My Goodness this room needs decorating !!!

pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 15:33

did I wake you up darling?

Graham


Joined: 20/10/2007
Posts: 397

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 19:39

You don't sweat much for a fat lass.

snakes



Joined: 28/10/2008
Posts: 1512

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 20:40

evidentally the food in the VD clinic is very good !!!

pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 20:51

Hello darling this is...

scampy



Joined: 15/01/2008
Posts: 982

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 20:54

Did the earth move

Oh no the bed broke!!!!

Arthur


Joined: 04/11/2008
Posts: 687

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 20:54

Or the answer to the old chat up line, "How do you like your eggs in the morning"



-"preferably unfertilised"

Arthur


Joined: 04/11/2008
Posts: 687

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 20:56

Or as I saw on a car sticker



Prevent incest- BAN COUNTRY MUSIC

cruggs


Joined: 06/04/2008
Posts: 498

Message Posted:
15/11/2008 21:04

where can i put my fag ash

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
16/11/2008 10:19

World's worst chat-up line...



"That dress would look nice on my bedroom floor...."