joke

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
16/11/2008 18:58

Paddy asks Murphy if he wants any cigarettes bringing back when he goes on his holidays, Murphy says 'yes" cheers mate, get me 200 Bensons. Two weeks later Paddy comes back home, sees Murphy in the pub & says "I got your ciggies' you owe me 74.50. 'For Christ's sake" says Murphy, Where did you go on holiday..... Paddy replies... BUTLINS

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
16/11/2008 19:07

I once new a chap Terry, who worked as a Prison Warder in Coldingley Prison. He was offered an overseas posting to Belfast... As a young man he figured he would go, earn shed loads of extra money keep his nose clean stay out of trouble and come back with a nice big deposit to put down on a house... so off he went.



When he got back he told us that he was so scared to go out he never ventured outside the prison grounds. So one day one of the regular guards told him he was off to the corner shop and asked if my mate wanted anything.



So Terry said yes please can you get me 20 Embassy but if the haven't got Embassy get me anything else..



Off goes Sean... when he gets back Terry says "where's me fags"



Sean says "sorry they didn't have any Embassy so I got you this...."



It was a pork pie....



True story, nNames changed to protect the innocent...

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
16/11/2008 19:29

I heard a similar story,



Odd job man at work was asked to go for rolls etc for lunch break,

Boss gave him £20 note, and said to him,



"get something for yourself"



So off he goes, returns with rolls etc

as they tuck into their rolls, boss asks



"have you got my change"?

odd job man says "no change"



boss asks "what did you get"



odd job man replies........





"A shirt"

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
16/11/2008 21:34

He also told us of another occasion when Sean was going out for supplies and Terry was bored out of his skull so he asked Sean to buy him a couple of newspapers... "Get me the Daily Mail and another paper"



You've guessed it...



Sean bought him The Daily Mail and The Daily Mail...



It does exactly what it says on the tin.....

mouthy git


Joined: 24/09/2008
Posts: 41

Message Posted:
17/11/2008 18:45

this guy's walking the streets of belfast when suddenly feels a gun pressed againsed the back of his head, and asked if he's catholic or prodestant, the guy thinks to himself, i've got a 50/50 chance, if i say catholic, he'll be a prodestant, if i say prodestant, he'll be a catholic, so with a bit of quick thinking, say's i'am jewis, the voice behind him say's i must be the luckiest arab in belfast.