The humour of Tommy Cooper

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 17:47

Just a small collection of the priceless humor of the immortal Mr Cooper!



I went to see a friend with her new baby last night, she asked me if I wanted to wind it.

I thought that was a bit harsh, so I just gave it a Dead-Leg



*****



Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married

The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.



*****



Man goes to the docs, with a strawberry growing out of his head.

Doc says, 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'



*****



'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.'

'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.'

'Is it common?'

'It's not unusual.'



*****



A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'

'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him'

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, 'I'm going t

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 17:54

Ouch! There is a lot more on that Tommy Cooper list and get round to sending it soon!

sixpence


Joined: 14/07/2008
Posts: 25

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 17:57

Hi Oilman!



My husband works in oil so a shared interest!

Where abouts are you in Karsiyaka as we are living there too?

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 17:59

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'

'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him'

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'

'What? Because he's cross-eyed? '

'No, because he's really heavy'



So I went to the dentist.

He said 'Say Aaah.'

I said 'Why?'

He said 'My dog's died.'



So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:00

Not far from Tolga's sixpence!

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:06

That's been taken care of already Mack!

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:13

Just like that !!

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:15

Cooper do I take it you have that you are fan of the great man?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:15

to the top

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:16

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other

'Does this taste funny to you?'



*****



Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.



They charged one and let the other one off.



*****



You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.'

So that was nice.



*****



A man walked into the doctors,

The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'

The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'



A man walked into the doctors, he said 'I've hurt my arm in severalplaces'

The doctor said, 'well don't go to those places'



*****



I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.

He wasn't very happy.



*****



I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



*****



I bought some HP sa

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 18:42

Oilman yes i think he was the best ever, love this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Eq5Xn23h8&feature=related



Cooper

mountbatten


Joined: 12/04/2008
Posts: 102

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:02

Oilman

I remember reading in the newspaper that cooper got out of his taxi and put his hand into the drivers pocket,saying,have a drink on me,the driver found a teabag had been put in his pocket.

arrry



Joined: 19/08/2008
Posts: 1235

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:15

Priceless !!!

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:32

Oilman,



Thanks for that. This site badly needed a dose of sanity/insanity.



Its like witnessing the second coming! Keep it up.



wyn

arrry



Joined: 19/08/2008
Posts: 1235

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:38

Wyn



Guess where i am ???



All ther best Arry

pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:39

mr cooper was my parents neighbour in the 50s, not fond memories.

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 19:59

Oilman,



This site is going down the pan! Just like that!



wyn

Oilman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 225

Message Posted:
20/11/2008 23:23

Think I can top that for a Tommy Cooper anecdote. Mate was working in John Lewis store Manchester when Tommy came into the store. Everyonme was laughing when he walked in and in spite of the fact he was being seroius people just fell about without him saying a word. Apparently he was quite put out. He recovered his sense of humour apparently when he visited the menswear section. There was a guy in the store who was about 20 stone and less than 5 feet tall. The man asked if they had a suit to fit him and Tommy said " If they have they need to sack the cutter!"

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
21/11/2008 08:26

Here's some more clips of the great man - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU9PWCqEdPE



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teXn-vIolKU&feature=related



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhMRJMEJW2k&feature=related



Ive just watched them and i am crying with laughter !! cant help it.



Cooper

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/11/2008 09:38

Well Done Cooper - some great clips. He was a funny man.