Good Health - The Facts

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 04:08

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

cont.

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 04:09

cont.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.

If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 04:10

cont.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... Another vegetable!!!

It's the best feel-good food around!

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 04:11

cont.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other , body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 04:51

Could I have a precis of that please.

All I remember is Brandy is good for you!!!!

Serife-cheer.Better have another one

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 09:30

“You are what you eat”. If you eat Healthy you should stay Healthy.

come_on_aylin


Joined: 14/06/2008
Posts: 908

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 09:54

My husband's philosophy is that if he ever gets the urge to do exercise, he lies down until the urge wears off. It's paying off - he's a great shape(round)!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 11:01

Eileen, as long as he's Happy eh?

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 11:08

Maggie



There is some logic in the thread... they say "you are what you eat" so anything that eats only vegetable matter must be a vegetable... so if you exclusively eat vegetarians then you too are a vegetarian by proxy... simple!



Right now I'm off for a nap....

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 11:10

I think you deserve a nap after that Groucho

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
03/12/2008 11:10

I am not QUITE a vegetarian, although I do make a point of only eating animals that WERE vegetarians...