Love this JOKE about dieting

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 11:04

Paddy goes to the doctor dreadfully overweight.

The doctor says try this new diet:

Eat normally for two days,then skip a day,then eat normally again,for two days,then skip a day,and repeat this for a month and come and see me.

Paddy was back at the end of the month.He had lost 60lb !!!!

Fantastic,said the doctor,did you keep to the diet plan?

Yep,said Paddy.

So how did you lose so much weight?



It was all that bl***y skipping every three days !!!!!!

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 13:56

Contain my comment to as the last time I responded in kind the posts disappeared into the ether !

Jonesy299


Joined: 07/02/2009
Posts: 367

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 15:03

Im just waiting for some fat person to get on this thread and complain that it is offensive to fat people which is a disability!!!



My contribution: UK Obese Society are marching (slowly) towards Westminster on a protest chanting:

"What do we want!!"

"Help with Obesity"

"When do we want it?"

"After lunch...!"

Millwall123


Joined: 02/08/2011
Posts: 61

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 15:20

I went to currys with the mrs and asked "what's your favourite telly tubby"



"Tinkie Winkie" she replied..........



"No you fat git...........what TV do you want"

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 17:09

Here's a good one about older people:



A lonely woman,aged 70,decided to find a husband.She put an ad.in local paper:



HUSBAND WANTED:---MUST BE ABOUT MY AGE,MUST NOT BEAT ME UP,MUST NOT RUN AROUND ME,

AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED !!!

PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON TO.........



Next day,the doorbell rang,and there was a grey-haired man in a wheelchair.

He had no arms or legs

The woman said"I cannot consider you,with no arms or legs"

He said"With no arms or legs,I cannot beat you up,nor run around you"

"But"said the woman"are you good in bed?"



The man beamed a smile,and said "Well I did ring the bell !!!!"

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3533

Message Posted:
03/02/2012 19:36

I've just thought of a great owl joke,



















but I can't use it until 2/8/20.