I've decided to raise funds for charity

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 17:39

I've decided that it would be a good idea to collect money for a charity in North Cyprus. I am calling it 'Surprise 12' because it will be a surprise, eventually for a charity to receive some money. I wont tell you the name of the charity because then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?



With the generous funds raised I thought I'd approach a certain well known bank re looking after my money & investing it with a developer they may know of, for a mortgage at a terrific interest rate (for the bank & me that is). Now don't worry, I wont be investing in any off plan development (I've been warned about them) so I want there to be houses already on the development. Preferably the developer will have been paid for the houses and their 'owners' (a quaint term in the TRNC) moved in and sorted out all the snagging.



I can then sit back and enjoy watching the interest repayments pouring in and boosting my Charity 12 funds.



This will of course be a long term investment. Donations to

eyebob


Joined: 22/06/2010
Posts: 143

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 17:42

Can I carry the bucket?

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 17:42

If there are any concerns about 'Charity 12' rest assured they will be taken seriously and I will investigate personally.

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 17:44

eyebob



Thank you for your offer of assistance which is gratefully received. I was considering franchising...

yenibob


Joined: 13/10/2010
Posts: 1203

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 17:46

Perhaps Elko could arrange the PR

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:05

Msg 5, LOL

beer mets keyboard

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:14

Yenibob,

I think I can because I have time in my hands

ismet

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:17

If I have question about your methods msg1

will you get the threads closed ?

yenibob


Joined: 13/10/2010
Posts: 1203

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:34

Elko, It will be easier when you get your watch strap fixed

cavalryman


Joined: 08/11/2010
Posts: 314

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:37

I could project manage for you as long as I am not responsible for anything and my abacus is broken so no accounts ok?

EamonnMc


Joined: 18/06/2010
Posts: 1019

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 18:44

Everyone should give till it hurts.......everyone connected with the charity.

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 19:26

I'll make the official uniforms, I have perfected the skill of including extra deep back pockets in trousers

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 19:28

Thank you to those offering to help i.e. project manage and PR. Both important roles. Rest assured that no one will be held to account for anything to do with this excellent charity (that's not the NC way now is it?).

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 19:30

hattikins

Much obliged for the offer to make the official uniforms. Don't worry too much about the pockets, I'll be lining them myself.

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 19:31

I can highly recommend my accountants, Bodgit and Leggit.

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 19:55

Msg 15, cheaper to use Tony E

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 20:00

Just an idea for a "theme tune" for your charity, similar to "Feed the World":



"Let's twist again (like we did last summer)"

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 20:07

Can I be a ticket seller for the entertainment?

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 20:15

I have a really good idea for you Hector, you can hook up with Mr Robb, (when he's out) and together with the nameless bank who already has a lawyer with good connections to Mr Robb, you can then make the TRNC your playground for the next few years who knows where it will end!



The Government I am sure will be on board to make sure everything runs smoothly for you (no problems with residency) (Kimlit card) etc! and as for charity's some of his friends have already integrated so no problem there then!

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 21:11

It seems so easy to get a charity's donation money [allegedly] muddled up with one's own - especially in TRNC, where fraud is a matter to be resolved through civil litigation - you're surely on to 'a winner', Hector!

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 21:13

Thank you for all your suggestions. From what you say Mr Robb does seem like an ideal candidate. He needs a job now that he has served his debt to society. He certainly knows about finances, developing and banks. He also has connections as does his lawyer. He may also be good as a figurehead from a publicity point of view, after all as someone else has said " at the end of the day.... if the (Charity) is attracting interest it is good for us."

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 21:45

Yes Hector Gary Robb would make a good figurehead along with Akan Kursat and his dad, you could have stamps made with their profile (so everyone can sign their residency forms) over them



And the Government, Gary Robb/Aga, The nameless Bank & the Kursats along with Unwins and it seems Festival 11 commitee can all have printed in bold letters on T Shirts, Letter Headings, corporate insignia and most importantly their Bank Account Number



"IT WAS NOT ME, IT WAS HIM"

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 21:55

It sounds great chaps, I'll run the tombola. We could have a 'guess which one did it contest' and raffle off a new house....no that's been done.

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 21:56

I'm really trying to come up with a catchy name, title or nmemonic for my new charity. All so difficult.



I'm trying to sum up my charity motto which is 'Financial results and understanding depends upon legal enterprise not truth.'



I'm just not sure if I can encapsulate that in way that catches the mood in NC.



Can anyone help with this?

birdman



Joined: 20/09/2010
Posts: 690

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 22:36

I would like to supply two "Rolls" as prizes ?



Hard tissue comes to mind ! (With the nameless banks motto printed thereon.)



Gerry

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 22:45

Msg 1

Here's your theme tune!

http://youtu.be/rXUQlmO-L8s



Richard

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
03/03/2012 23:23

This needs really thinking about Hector! the "Name" has to be really suttle

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 02:12

You are luckier than me. I once asked my bank manager for an increase in my overdraft facility and, when he asked why, I explained that I wanted to expand my loan business. Clearly he was devoid of any business acumen whatsoever and did not follow the EU model nor have any knowledge of pyramid selling. He told me to rev up and go away with quick jerking movements.

birdman



Joined: 20/09/2010
Posts: 690

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 08:56

God helps those who help themselves, seems appropriate !



Gerry

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 09:09

Gerry:



Well, God had better help those who get caught helping themselves!

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 11:34

Hector, message 24.



I have pondered your dilemma for a catchy name for your new charity and after much deliberation (I have been up most of the night) and in depth thinking, I have come up with:



FRAUD



Now, quite honestly, I don't know why you didn't think of that yourself. It almost presents itself on a plate. Still, I daresay you have lots of other details to finalise

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 11:42

I can do subtle TRNC victim, how about the winkawankawonkabanka provident fund. A simple name anyone can remember. I dont know if it will fit on the line of my cheque book. Back to the drawing board.

wylam


Joined: 06/05/2011
Posts: 26

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 11:52

Well! What can you say. This posting I'm afraid sums up the nasty and twisted people who write on this Forum. I have followed these pages for years and learnt good things and bad things about life here in the TRNC . I have said very little since joining as a member.

However, over the past year or so we see nothing but ignorant statements and sarcastic comments that are sent back to perfectly legitimate questions. This Sarcastic posting of today could ruin ALL the Charities in this country. There are Charities run professionally, who can give you a copy of their Accounts and they don't pay anyone a wage or have heavy Committee Members expenses and all the money raised at functions is used to the benefit of the TRNC population. You may think you're having a laugh, but mud sticks all over. The concerts run for the benefit of Cheshire Homes obviously causes concern and it is appalling that monies allegedly seem to have gone astray and not forwarded to the Home, BUT Please THINK FIRST !

RadioAngel


Joined: 21/01/2012
Posts: 426

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 12:22

Don't shoot the messenger. The reason all Charities wil suffer is because of the complete arrogance of the Festival 11 committee in not carrying out the job with which it was charged ; namely accounting for the funds given by to be used to support the people who badly need the services of Cheshire Home. Direct your ire at them not the ripped of Brits who have been defrauded of their charitable donations.

wylam


Joined: 06/05/2011
Posts: 26

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 12:36

Radio Angel! Please read the thread, then read my comments. In no way am I 'shooting the messenger'. If I was then I would have ' shot you' (metaphorically of course,) by commenting on your posts re Cheshire Homes and I certainly did not.

It is the stupidity of these kind of childish posts that I was objecting to and their effect on the good charities that are simply Charities and nothing else. That's ALL.

I put in the bucket at the Pia Bella, I paid for a ticket believing the profits were going to a good cause, I even supplied items for free so I know all about getting ripped off! Thank you.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 12:50

wylam, perhaps I am wrong, I usually am, but I thought Hector was posting this for fun. Oh dear...sorry Hector, did I get it wrong again.

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 12:52

This whole affair has been anything but funny

Simbas

cypgab


Joined: 09/01/2010
Posts: 338

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 13:20

But in the midst of the gloom this thread has been like a ray of sunshine.



Wylam, your response is so far from the spirit of the contributors intent that I wonder about your motive.

Esentepe7


Joined: 19/04/2009
Posts: 34

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:08

Hector,

it's all very good but you still did not give any details where I can send my large contribution

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:28

Send it to Hector's House.

wylam


Joined: 06/05/2011
Posts: 26

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:38

Cypgab. Sorry don't understand your comments . If you mean i don't get the Joke your right. It isn't funny. As for motives................no idea what you are trying to say.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:45

wylam, clearly this is not for you, it just really is meant as a bit of fun. All of us know of the problems before but clearly we wanted a little light relief, this forum is full of serious subjects, I should know. I dont think anyone was trying to be sptieful or rude to you. Irony and humour are the basics of British humour.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:47

sorry I meant irony and sarcasm are the basics of British humour. Please do not be offended wylam.

JohhnyLee


Joined: 25/04/2009
Posts: 2495

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:48

I would like to dash around the Ampitheatre with a Walkie Talkie and talk to my partner in crime who happens to be satnding about 3 mtrs away from me on his Walkie Talkie.



I have the first large donation for you Charity, I met an elderly couple yesterday in Girne Harbour and they gifted me £35.000



I have sent to Hectors House in a Brown envelope. (wasn't Hectors House a cartoon Series) quite fitting.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:54

Hooray, JohnnyLee you remember, of course my mother told me about it.....lol



I too shall be sending Hector a brown envelope containing a begging letter.



Address: Hectors House,

Mersin 10

Turkey

PaulW



Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 651

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 14:57

wylam.....did it hurt when they removed your sense of humor gland..........this is a light hearted thread

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 15:43

I was think too of trying for another charity event this year as its been two years since my head shave !



I was thinking maybe getting sponsors but not sure who for yet ! or what to do



Maybe a tattoo saying '' I love 44 '' now where shall I have it,maybe bend over





Spider,X

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 15:45

Now how much will Izzet donate and all the mods







Spider,X

spangles


Joined: 22/10/2008
Posts: 411

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 16:31

spider mess. 47 - I don't know, but PLEASE DON'T video it!!

magicart


Joined: 05/10/2008
Posts: 985

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 20:10

Sadly comments on these threads do not help those who are genuinely raising vital money for cancer charities etc.



These charities are dependent on money being raised by hard working fund raisers who are completely honest and dedicated.



The money goes towards helping those who cannot afford expensive treatment and many are Brits.



Have a laugh by all means but there is a bigger picture to consider.



Cheers



Art.

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 20:12

Well said Art.







Spider,X

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 20:25

@ msg 43, pollymarples: (...) sorry I meant irony and sarcasm are the basics of British humour. (...)

▶ Yeah. That's what the Brits prefer to tell themselves and the rest of the world. The British problem is that the rest of the world consists of seven billion people without the Brits. Think it over.

ranger5


Joined: 29/03/2011
Posts: 151

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 20:31

We`re not communicating with seven billion people though Hans. By the way - Robin van Persie - WOW

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 20:36

wylam - you really need to learn to develop a sense of humour!



May I offer assistance in suggesting that you start by being an apprentice - our favourite Australian bard will provide the necessary incentive for you with the following ditty!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2vD-MDslYc



I trust you enjoy!

birdman



Joined: 20/09/2010
Posts: 690

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 23:33

FRAUD :- 1. Cheating, chicanery, counterfeit, con-trick, deceit, deception, dishonesty, double dealing, duplicity,

fake, forgery, hoax, imposture, pretence, put up job, sham, sharp practice, swindle, trick, trickery, charlatan, cheat, con man, hoaxer, impostor, mountebank, phoney, quack, rogue, scoundrel, swindler,



These are just some of the words that spring to mind !!!!!!! LMBO



Gerry

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
04/03/2012 23:51

Or call it the H/C fund

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 00:15

The sad thing is that any charity is very susceptible to fraud as are the elderly and the vulnerable!



So now let's try to think of a name for Hectors new victims Headed by Gary Robb.Gov.co.TRNC........



F - For anyone who -



R - Religiously (any denomination) gives and thinks everyone is honest -



A - Always think everyone isn't as they seem and -



U - Ultimately you need to be extremely vigilant especially in the TRNC.Gov because anyone can easily be



D - Defrauded



Not a good motto Hector for the new Charity! however a good saying for any New Victims to follow

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 00:25

Just use H E C T O R as an acronym.



Holding Everyones Cash To Organise Retirement.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 07:15

Nice one Turtle. TRNC victim, so cynical, not like you..lol

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 07:20

DC I have thought it over, what do you mean? You know I am a self declared thicky and guess what, I can live with that. Trying to live up to your intellectual level DC gives me a headache. Now where are the paracetamol.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 07:26

I see wylam, who I was addressing has a British name on his proflie so I guess he understands the point I was making. Now remember the rest of you, 7 billion people do not share the British sense of humour and irony so do not rely on them understanding it. DC sir, I promise never to confuse you with a Brit when I joke.



7 billion wow, I have trouble counting to ten. That DC he really knows his stuff.

wylam


Joined: 06/05/2011
Posts: 26

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 07:40

Ah Humbug! to you Pollly Marples and Tenakoutou !

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 08:16

wylam:



'Ah humbug!'



Yes, that's just what Hector's post is meant to be - but you just can't get it, can you?!



'Sour as a Lisbon lemon!' springs to mind.

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 08:53

I love humbugs, thank you very much wylam. You are a very nice person.

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 21:46

Who could possibly have guessed that trying to raise money for charity could cause friction....

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 22:24

Msg65 , If only that was true.

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 22:28

Hector



I really like your sense of humour It's good British Irony!

Harold2555



Joined: 19/04/2008
Posts: 1139

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 23:08

Purely in the spirit of Irony I have come up with an alternative theme tune



http://youtu.be/cSWIV6lJvsY



Harold

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
05/03/2012 23:22

Harold2555 (mess 68)



For the first time in a long time I like your alternative theme tune!



There certainly is a great big hole in the TRNC Bucket, dear Harold!



X

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
06/03/2012 06:39

I have just got to the chewy centre of my humbug.



Sounds like some builders here Harold



"with what shall I mend it dear Liza, dear Liza, with straw.!" Of course a bucket with hole in it provides the perfect accounting mechanism, q. "where is the money", a. "It must have fallen through the hole in my bucket" dear Liza dear Liza.



Don't take this seriously....it is a JOKE of the British variety.

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
07/03/2012 19:33

I'm pleased to announce that I've held the first AGM of the new charity. It gave all those who attended the opportunity to ask questions about finance, how much, where it's gone etc. There is no need therefore to go to all the bother of publishing them.



Thanks to those who suggested the catchy name of FRAUD for the charity. I've discounted that, not because of any adverse inference in that name but because it's not a word that's recognised in North Cyprus.

TRNCvictim


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 1417

Message Posted:
07/03/2012 20:00

Oh Hector you are naughty but I like your sense of humour!



In the mist of adversity it's good to smile! thank you!

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
08/03/2012 17:14

Hot news!

I've decided to give away a free map (DC1) of all the spots where my new charity will improve life in NC. This is such a great offer I can only open it for a very short time.



Just supply with me all your personal, photo, and credit card details and how much you want to donate for the free map (DC1).



Hurry before this great offer closes.

yenibob


Joined: 13/10/2010
Posts: 1203

Message Posted:
08/03/2012 17:25

That's me buggered then!

pollymarples


Joined: 08/08/2010
Posts: 1778

Message Posted:
08/03/2012 17:52

really yenibob, too much information lol

yenibob


Joined: 13/10/2010
Posts: 1203

Message Posted:
08/03/2012 18:07

Old ladies with dirty minds....Whatever next?



I was of course using the vernacular!