Why men don't write advice columns

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 19:49

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.



I walked back home to get my husband's help.



When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbouring girl is 22.

We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and

admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told

him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago

and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love

him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.



Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila



cont....

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 19:50

Dear Sheila:



A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a wide variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor

float chamber.



I hope this helps!



Walter

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 20:04

And Grouch'

There is a lot of stuff we need to keep to ourselves.

Skogsy

britvic



Joined: 05/09/2008
Posts: 3039

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 20:16

One of my best friend's husband's left her two day's ago declaring "I've met someone else, and we have bought an apartment, I'm leaving tonight!" My friend and her Husband have been together for 23years, and have two grown up children.

She had no clue what was going on and this has floored her, I have spent the last two day's with either my ear glued to the phone, or making tea in her kitchen.

Let me tell you helping someone in this position is very difficult, so scary in case



you say the wrong thing.

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 20:19

Britvic - whilst I feel very sorry for your friend, has Groucho's post gone "over your head" a bit?

J

britvic



Joined: 05/09/2008
Posts: 3039

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 20:21

Don't think so, How would a man cope with this do you think, and I did get the joke.

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 20:29

Britvic - please accept my apologies.

Jean

britvic



Joined: 05/09/2008
Posts: 3039

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 21:37

Jean, have you noticed how the men have gone very quiet?

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 21:49

Vicky - yes I have. Unfortunately, a lady I work with is in a similar position to your friend. 2 teenaged children, husband gone off with another woman and is now refusing to pay the mortgage on the house.

BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING - I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE ORIGINAL SUBJECT MATTER.

Jean

britvic



Joined: 05/09/2008
Posts: 3039

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 21:51

Flippin awful, poor lady, fortunately for my friend, she is financially secure in her own right.

kenny



Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 21:51

nowadays this situation is as easily reversed, just as many men are hoodwinked !

bachelibelly


Joined: 04/09/2008
Posts: 275

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 22:08

Groucho you wouldn't know if the house was for sale do you,dont want the car but wouldnt mind the neighbours !!!!!

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
22/12/2008 22:16

Hi Walter,

Could be lack of fuel

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 00:09

I think the jets are blocked.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:07

Dear Walter



For many years my wife has been very accomodating and always got on top.

She is now complaining that she's finding it uncomfortable.



I don't have a head for heights and would prefer to stay underneath.



My neighbours wife has now offered to get on top of me whenever I need.



Will my wife be upset or feel rejected if I accept this offer?















How else could I get our light bulbs changed?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:21

Dear Walter,

I have two brothers, one works at Northern Rock, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.

My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering Her illegitimate child to death.I love this girl very much and want to marry her.

My problem is this:

Shall I tell Her about my brother who works at Northern Rock?

Sincerely,

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:25

Newsflash: The Queens Rolls Royce is missing. Prince Philip thinks it's the plugs.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:30

Dear Walter,

I have been engaged for almost a 6 months, and I am to be married in the next couple of months. My fiance's mother is not only extremely attractive, but really great and understanding. She is helping put the entire wedding together, and last week invited me to her place to go over the invitation list, because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

So, when I got to her place, we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... and thats when she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom, saying that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes, and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:30

He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test..

Now the problem Walter. Should I tell my fiance what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was devious and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the

reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:38

Any women want advice they should shout from the kitchen.



Skogs

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:44

Skogsy. LOL. I wish you would post more often!

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
23/12/2008 13:50

Chess'

Well I would post more often but as per earlier posts we have gone a bit quiet. As it gets a bit like a bloody chicken coop on here sometimes with all them birds a squawkin' I sometimes think the silence is worth savouring.



Ho Ho Ho.



Skogsy