The all purpose multi-topic random subject thread

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 18:29

Let's hope this thread won't be moderated for postings which are off topic.

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 18:35

Fatwa Gives Women the Right to Hit Husbands



28/10/2008



Asharq Al-Awsat



Riyadh, Asharq Al-Awsat - A fatwa originating from Turkey has given women the right to strike their husbands in cases of self-defense.



Sheikh Mohsen al Obeikan, an adviser to the Saudi Ministry of Justice and a member of the Saudi Shura Council agreed with some Islamic scholars in Turkey and Egypt in this regard. “This [issue] is acknowledged by Islamic jurists and it has roots in Islamic Shariah, the Quran and the Hadith [Prophetic traditions],” said the Sheikh. He referred to the following excerpts of the Quran: ‘The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree),’ [Surat Ashoura: 40] and ‘…whoever then acts aggressively against you, inflict injury on him according to the injury he has inflicted on you…’ [Surat al Baqara: 194]



Al Obeikan, who spoke to Asharq Al-Awsat by phone, said women should only hit their husbands if they are defending themselves.



Fethullah Gulen, a prominent

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 19:51

Manchester City have today completed the signing of Wayne Bridge from Chelsea for an undisclosed amount.



The 28-year-old England international left back has joined the Blues on a four and a half year deal and becomes the Club's first signing of the January transfer window.



Mark Hughes said of his latest signing: "Wayne’s a player I know I played alongside him at Southampton and I saw him come through the ranks. He was an outstanding young player and he’s progressed year on year in his career.



"He’s a successful player. He’s an England international and has just played for one of the top four sides in the country.



"He’s of the right quality and he’s the type of player we need to attract. We need good players that understand this league and we’ll look to carry on in that way and add more if we can."

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 19:59

i'm going to strangle this plonker..





Nck

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 20:03

Nick. Read the topic header- it's about random posting.

Harold2555



Joined: 19/04/2008
Posts: 1139

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 20:03

Nick



Why, it's a bit of fun which some say is much needed.



Carrots make an excellent vegetable by the way



Harold2555

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 20:21

The news at ten will be on at 10.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 20:58

Whatever happened to Jakanory ?



Used to love that, especially when that bid with the big jugs and the white jumper used to read the story...





Nick

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
03/01/2009 21:10

I used to like watching Bernard Manning but he's gone now.



http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2007/jun/19/guardianobituaries.obituaries1



Lem

Val44


Joined: 14/11/2008
Posts: 210

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 00:46

The first toilet ever seen on television was on “Leave It to Beaver”.

Val44


Joined: 14/11/2008
Posts: 210

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 00:50

Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food FROM freezing.

arrry



Joined: 19/08/2008
Posts: 1235

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 00:54

Do you mean Jack Nick ?

guinness


Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 224

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 01:40

RE: message 6



In Portugal carrots are classified as fruit as they are made into a jam there and EU bureaucrats decided that under unified EU food labelling regulations the ingredients of a sweetened confection/preserve can only be fruit.



Just thought I would mention it.



guin

w26kay



Joined: 14/10/2007
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 02:16

My old Nan made the best jam in the world. It had some kick in it. I think she used spirits? I can't be sure. I bet it was better than that portugese stuff?

w26kay



Joined: 14/10/2007
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 02:17

Totally random you understand...

BTW does anyone really like carrots?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 02:29

I love carrots Kay. But I only eat them raw - can't stand them cooked.

w26kay



Joined: 14/10/2007
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 02:34

What is it about cooked carrots that make them really really unappetising? It does not make any difference what shape they are, round, baton, etc., or even the crushed (Royale Family variety. They are really really horrid. The only carrots I have ever eaten have been with honey. But who wants to mess about mixing with honey and butter all the time?

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 07:59

Why dont fish fill up if they swim with their mouths open?



Sir Skogs

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 08:08

Is this a trick question Sir Skogs ? i warn you i am razor sharp in the mornings ! { only jesting , nobody can accuse me of that }

Have a good day , Simbas

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 09:10

Queen Simbas

No trick question. I was just wondering why when they are caught they dont empty.

New Years greetings to you and your family.



Sir Skogs

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 09:27

Is it because it passes through their little gills when they close their mouth ?

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 09:30

and why are there always carrots when you are sick..

Skogsy


Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 339

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 09:31

DEE !!!!!!

Sir Skogs

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 11:49

If you want to make a Siberian happy, Give him Horse steak.............

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 11:52

Month's that begin on Sunday, will always have Friday the 13th in it.................

kenny



Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 11:53

if the universe is expanding, whats it expanding into ?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 11:55

No word in the English language rhymes with MONTH !!!!!!!!!

blinky



Joined: 07/12/2008
Posts: 187

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 11:58

i can magicaly make you all sound from the caribbean... follow these steps..



1: say 'Beer'

2: Now say 'Beer Can'

3:Now say 'Beer Can Butty'



say it fast....



Get it????? no???

kenny



Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:00

I like my carrots roasted !

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:08

If you mouth the word Colorful to someone, it looks like saying I love you

(try it)

w26kay



Joined: 14/10/2007
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:09

Thats a good one blinky. LOL

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:09

Where do you get all this from Jock ?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:14

Just typed in useless facts and looked them up...........

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:17

I do worry about you sometimes Jock , have a good day

Pat

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:18

Ah Pat, youv got to laugh.......

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:35

You are so very right , and i am off soon to get mine .

Regards , Pat

Cypfan


Joined: 10/10/2008
Posts: 104

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:44

msg 36 once a week on a sunday?

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 12:48

What are you implying Cypfan ? { only jesting } i mean laughs But on reflection so do you . Don't you ? { i got that wrong then did'nt i } Going to some very good friends for lunch ------- where laughter and merriment rules

have a good day , Simbas

sunnycyprus


Joined: 17/10/2008
Posts: 64

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 15:17

knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad









that random enuf 4 u?!!!



;-)

kenny



Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 15:35

he who asks a question may be a fool for 5 mins

he who never asks a question will be a fool forever

MICK THE FISH


Joined: 27/05/2008
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 18:03

The cat crept in the Crypt, crapped and crept out again



William McGonnagal

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
04/01/2009 18:08

hi simbas jock and kay love them all keep up the laughter, simbas have a good day off kay keep in touch jock see you soon xxx

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
05/01/2009 20:04

http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/





But do thy worst to steal thyself away,

For term of life thou art assured mine;

And life no longer than thy love will stay,

For it depends upon that love of thine.

Then need I not to fear the worst of wrongs,

When in the least of them my life hath end.

I see a better state to me belongs

Than that which on thy humour doth depend:

Thou canst not vex me with inconstant mind,

Since that my life on thy revolt doth lie.

O what a happy title do I find,

Happy to have thy love, happy to die!

But what's so blessed-fair that fears no blot?

Thou mayst be false, and yet I know it not.

KarmaSooty


Joined: 05/01/2009
Posts: 4

Message Posted:
05/01/2009 20:26

What do you call a fish with no eye ?

FSH !

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 01:02

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?



Humphrey!



OK, OK, I'll go to bed right now!!

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 09:36

Will this thread be closed because ''it serves no purpose'' or because ''the topic has been adressed''



Those two phrases really do wind me up! The members decide when either of those comments apply because they stop posting, surely!

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 13:43

Definitions:



1: Dolphin: 'It serves no porpoise'.



2: Topic: Can be addressed directly to you:



Mars Chocolate Topic

British Food Shop:Chocolate:Mars Chocolate:Mars Chocolate Topic (Snickers Chocolate ) Previous : Next (Mars Treatsize)

Topic 4 Pack

Price: £1.74



Live Currency Conversion into

Euros | US Dollars | Other

(To be used only as a guide.)





??

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:22

Rob



The thought of chocolate has wound me down!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:30

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:44

Is Schrodinger's cat dead or alive?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:48

Geoff, give us a clue - How many lives did he have left?

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:51

Bill, he only ever had the one. Or did he? Perhaps he didn't have any!

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:52

tsk! tsk!



I've got some cracking cumberland bangers and have only gone and lost my mums classic recipe for yorkshire pud!



No! I'm not doing toad-in-the-hole, that's for wimps!



I'm doing it right. Bangers, creamy mash, peas, yorkshire pudding and onion gravy.



I've even got some goose fat left over from Chrissy for the pan!





Anyone got a killer YP batter recipe?

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:54

Rob



What is it with you and food today!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:56

Geoff. I assume you are talking about the the strategy used in the Superposition Theorem and the fact that it is to eliminate all but one source of power within a network at a time, using series/parallel analysis to determine voltage drops (and/or currents) within the modified network for each power source separately. Then, once voltage drops and/or currents have been determined for each power source working separately, the values are all “superimposed” on top of each other (added algebraically) to find the actual voltage drops/currents with all sources active. Was it this, or am i mistaken?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:58

Geoff, I've noticed a seriousness lately with Rob's posts. Do you think he got something for Xmas that he's not telling us about?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 16:59

The ashes of the average cremated person weighs 9 pounds.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:14

Bill & Geoff, I'm under pressure!



The Light of my Life has been promoted and is making demands on me!



I need that YP batter recipe!

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:23

Bill. I think Rob is still partaking of the xmas spirit!



msg55. Close! It's about putting a cat in a box with a radioactive substance. (in theory, I might add). There is a 50% chance that a particle will be emitted due to the half life. As the 'experiment' cannot be observed, is the cat alive or dead? Not the most detailed explanation! To do with Quantum Mechanics, sort of.



I do write some cr*p! (no comment needed!)



Can you help Rob with the demands?

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:29

6 ozs plain flour

2 whole eggs + 1 yoke

just over 1/4 pt of milk

salt / pepper to taste

sometimes i put herbs in , it all depends what meat we are having , pour into hot oil or whatever and cook at 200 until well risen

enjoy ! it's foolproof , its got to be if i can do it

Simbas

Chessman


Joined: 13/05/2008
Posts: 486

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:35

There you go Rob. You can always rely on a Welsh lady.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:37

Here you go ROB:



125g / 4oz sifted plain flour

a pinch of salt

1 large / 1 medium egg

300ml / half pint semi-skimmed milk

oil or melted dripping



Make sure the oven is hot - 220C / 475F / Gas Mk 8.

Using a wooden spoon, gradually beat the egg and milk into the flour and salt until you have a smooth batter. Beat well and leave to stand.

Pour a little oil or dripping into each cup of a heavy gauge bun tin (I use a cast iron American Popover Pan). Alternatively use a roasting tin for one large pudding. Place in the hot oven to preheat for 5 minutes. Beat the batter again and decant into a jug for speed. Without allowing the oil to cool, pour the batter into the hot pans, half filling the cups. Bake for 12 - 20 minutes - depending on size - until puffed and golden. Serve immediately.

Try not to open the oven door until they're done - glass doors are useful. If you have to, just open it enough to take a quick peek.

Barabus



Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 163

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:38

yes nick at last something that wasn't a moan....Jakonory was bloody good !!

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
06/01/2009 17:48

simbas



Bless you! That sounds good!





Bill



Are you sure you just didn't 'google' that, or do you have a hidden feminine side?

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:49

A man is in bed with his wife when there’s a knock, knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock. It’s half past three in the morning.



I will happily ignore that he thinks, and tries to go back to sleep.



However, a louder knock follows.



“Aren’t you going to answer that?” asks his wife who is also awake now.



Not wanting a row he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs and opens the door to be greeted by a man standing outside.



“Hey mate,” says the stranger, “can you give me a push please?”



“You’re joking! It’s half past three in the morning. I was in bed fast asleep,” says the man and shuts the door.



He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.



“That’s charming”, she says, “Don’t you remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way home, you had to knock at that house to get help? What would have happened if they had refused us?”



“OK, OK” he says in resignation, and gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes dow

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:50

“OK, OK” he says in resignation, and gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the front door but can’t see the stranger anywhere. So he shouts, “Hello, do you still want a push?”



In the distance a voice cries out, “Yes please.”



Still unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”



“Over here, on the swings.”

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 11:49

Ha Ha, Priceless Quinny

Steve1953



Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 298

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 12:14

Brian Johnson on TMS :England v West Indies -



The bowler's Holding,the batsman's Willey

Harlequin


Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 346

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 19:06

Two blonde girls were working for the Kyrenia public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.



An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effor t you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'



The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

Rocker



Joined: 24/09/2008
Posts: 384

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 20:41

After reading all these threads I am going to be like a pair of curtains and pull myself together.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 22:46

What is the meaning of life?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 23:26

44..........

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 23:30

Are you sure Jock?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 23:39

I am positive, i think.

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
16/01/2009 23:57

message 27....Bumph

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
17/01/2009 00:05

You are 100% right Jock. Although I can't be certain!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
17/01/2009 01:16

well that makes the three of us then !!!