One for the Nutritionists

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:15

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:16

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:16

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satis fy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............. Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service..

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:17

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:



1.. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessiv e amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:26

mornig bill where do you find them mind you it makes you think now i will have to learn italian, can understand mexico they had so much pepper that speeds up your metabolic rate and clears the arteries. keep them coming i love them xx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 10:48

OK Lilli I've noted that.

OLDGIRL



Joined: 02/10/2008
Posts: 118

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 11:12

Morning Bill

You always make me smile and think for the day,Very good reading and very true.

Were do you get them from so early. x

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/01/2009 11:33

Pam, I'm up at 05.30 every morning. Never was a good sleeper. Have a great day!