One for the ladies...to make them smile

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 19:57

Believe it or not WOMAN has MAN in it.

MRS has MR in it.

FEMALE has MALE in it

SHE has HE in it.

MADAM has ADAM in it.



Ever noticed how all women's problems start with MEN.....???????



MENTAL ILLNESS..

MENTAL BREAKDOWN...

MENOPAUSE...



AND when we have REAL........ trouble it's a HIS terectomy....!!!!!!



SEND THIS 2 ALL WOMEN YOU KNOW TO BRIGHTEN THEIR DAY...x

augusta



Joined: 10/06/2008
Posts: 173

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 20:38

Hi Lulu....dare I say...that does make me smile!!!

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 20:48

hiya lulubell so very true MEN the bain of our lives and we are the bain of thiers but thenl where we we all be without them love them hate them sons brothers husbands fathers they do have thier work cut out to support the weight placed on thier shoulders is imense. thank the lord they have women to support them xxxx

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 21:03

hi lilli how are you? hope your feeling better..

yes i know my friend sent me this and made me smile!! and very true we cant live with them and cant live without them!!



take care ..x

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 21:08

im ok ot fully recovered as i cant get warm, otherwise fine how are you. you are soooooooooo right love them hate them i cant change a plug let alone change the italian you know what i mean xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 21:09

Lilli



I think the spelling of "bain" should be "bane".



But I'll let you off.



Lem



PS. Do you do fishy dishes for my brother in law, Simon, when we come out in July?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 21:22

lem im so sorry but this bxxxxy thing does not let me type properaly unless i punch his brains out. we will do anything your heart and your wallets desire. ifyou want live lobstercrabs, oysters, scallops etc please can you give me at least one days notice. i look forward to seeing you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 21:54

Thank you Lilli, you're a sweetie.



I'll do the heart stuff, Simon can do the wallet.



Lem

SteveAustin



Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 202

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 23:31

New addition to periodic table of elements:

Element name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.



Mike

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 23:42

mike hilarious and very very true...!!

Kitty1


Joined: 15/03/2007
Posts: 683

Message Posted:
10/01/2009 23:46

Oooer Steve, you might incur some female wrath with that one LOL!



Lulubell, made me smile too!



Lilli, when you said" punch his brains out", did you mean Guido or your laptop, cos I could totally understand either hahahahahaha!!! By the way the pinot grigio is superb, I'm quaffing it as I type. Kerry and Jon were well impressed with the bottle!

Steve1953



Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 298

Message Posted:
11/01/2009 02:16

Too late to mix it with the fairer sex at this time of night - some of us fellas are ok aren't we girls? Just watching the Big O(Roy Obison on BBC4,and feeling b.. old ). Used to see the Searchers,Billy J + his Dakotas separately,as they'de split up,Merseybeats + most of the Comedians(all live) + many others - where have they all gone - or where are their replacements girls? Come on dears,give us a break,lun u all.Steve

aki848


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 72

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 13:50

and also ....MANNERISMS...MENTAL.....MENSTRUATION.......MANHANDLED....."MENTALITY" OF SOME PEOPLE

ANYMORE HAHA......

brian24001


Joined: 23/03/2008
Posts: 606

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 15:07

AccomplishMENt, AcuMEN,

Men are all in there.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 16:16

Amen.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SteveAustin



Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 202

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 19:44

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.



As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.



He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.



Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your dress up your thighs...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.



All of a sudden the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in wi

SteveAustin



Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 202

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 19:45

A mans revenge when wife wont listen.



http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o...snt_listen.flv



Mike

SteveAustin



Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 202

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 20:52

Sorry wrong link. Try this one.



[URL= http://s303.photobucket.com/albums/nn138/dstrijack/?action=view¤t=whenthewifedoesntlisten.flv][IMG] http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn138/dstrijack/th_whenthewifedoesntlisten.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

SteveAustin



Joined: 10/03/2008
Posts: 202

Message Posted:
12/01/2009 20:57

That one doesn't work either, numpty, hope this one does.

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o240/rooster1frazier/?action=view¤t=when_the_wife_doesnt_listen.flv