Joke!

Rogerdodger


Joined: 24/04/2008
Posts: 271

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 19:05

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'HolyShit. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at thewoman, 'I AM your husband !'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running ?'



And then the fight started.....

Rogerdodger


Joined: 24/04/2008
Posts: 271

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 19:08

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen ?"



And that's when the fight started....



My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And that's when the fight started....

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 19:31

Rogerdodger- you're not related to Turbo? he put these on last week, keep up, they are still funny though.

P

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 22:00

Couple took their 6 yr old son onto a nudist beach.As they were walking along he noticed some ladies had bigger boobs than his mother had.

"Mummy, why have some ladies got bigger things than you have" he asked.

"The BIGGER they are the SILLIER they are" replied his mother. Satisfied with his mothers answer he went to play in the sea.A few moments later he returned to his mum.

"Mummy some of the men have got bigger thingy,s than daddy has"

"The BIGGER they are the DUMBER they are" replied his mother.

"Only daddy is talking to the SILLIEST lady on the beach,and the longer he talks to her the DUMBER he is getting"..

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 22:31

coachie i dont get it, you will have to explain..............

karakum5c



Joined: 18/03/2008
Posts: 1021

Message Posted:
20/01/2009 23:13

I think it is shocking that couple have their 6 year old son on a nudist beach Coachie someone should report them to social services!

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 16:39

Jock..C,mon you of all people!!!!

Karakum..I totally agree.Absolutely disgraceful,but he seems to learned at a very early age what the differances are and what happens as well!!!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 16:45

coachie, nope have not got a clue....................

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 16:54

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style.... it makes your nose look too short..

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 16:58

A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger t*ts."

Well the man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.

The woman looked at him and said "Toilet paper, what will that do?"

The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your ar*e."

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 17:04

FILTH !!!!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/01/2009 17:25

Little Johnny walked into the house covered in FILTH. His mom asked, "Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?"



Johnny replied, " I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."