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ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 15:51

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Message 1 of 8 in Discussion

hi guys have a read at this and see if you dont agree with most of them and have a laugh, that english is probabley the hardest language to learn!!!!



If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little

treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Something to

think about, English lovers.



Some Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to

present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22) The sign over the board was still lighted when the game was over.



There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat



Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither

from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce

and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats

vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite

at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a

wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house

can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out

and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.



English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the

creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.



That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights

are out, they are invisible.



suntanman



Joined: 18/04/2007
Posts: 721

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 16:05

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Message 2 of 8 in Discussion

The Farmer was in the fields sowing some seed

His wife was at at the window watching, while sewing his socks





Were they sowing/sewing together?



suntanman



Joined: 18/04/2007
Posts: 721

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 16:14

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Message 3 of 8 in Discussion

sorry ukturk, just read no.s 15 & 16 again, ignore me, I've been on the acid again.



ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 16:22

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Message 4 of 8 in Discussion

no worrıes mate i know the acid can play all kinds off tricks on a person!!!!! LOL LOL



p.s take a look at being british and proud and pt 2 funny

http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/1637.asp

http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/1667.asp

http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/1638.asp



ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 22:20

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Message 5 of 8 in Discussion

hope u liked it

regards

ukturk



orangekazzie



Joined: 31/07/2007
Posts: 1091

Message Posted:
04/03/2008 22:46

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Message 6 of 8 in Discussion

Do you accept the exception?



suntanman



Joined: 18/04/2007
Posts: 721

Message Posted:
05/03/2008 15:21

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Message 7 of 8 in Discussion

Thanks ukturk,

It's not only the English language that is confusing, local dialects are also very confusing. I remember going on holiday to cornwall with a work mate (no we were not mating) who spoke with a heavy (not weighty) yorkshire accent. We met up with some local cornish people who couldn't understand a word he was saying and I had to translate.



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
06/03/2008 11:44

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Message 8 of 8 in Discussion

which witch is wich.



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