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What did your lawyer tell *you*..?

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DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:51

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Message 1 of 63 in Discussion

Start of a long, funny thread I hope... One-liners preferred.



"Don't worry, you have a very good case". After the court hearing: "Come on, I built a case out of nothing for you!"



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:52

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Message 2 of 63 in Discussion

I Love you.............



negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:53

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Message 3 of 63 in Discussion

Sorry, Duch we used Naomi Mehmet and she was always very efficient, concise and helpful - won't have a bad word said about her....





Nick



TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:58

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Message 4 of 63 in Discussion

nick what did she tell you about Esdeger???



the butler


Joined: 22/06/2007
Posts: 1958

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:03

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Message 5 of 63 in Discussion





She told us it was safe as houses!!



The butlers wife



Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:10

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Message 6 of 63 in Discussion

oh how gullible we are........

mine said edeger.. no problem



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:15

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Message 7 of 63 in Discussion

My Lawyer said "Trust me, I'm a Lawyer"



Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:21

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Message 8 of 63 in Discussion

And I'm a Kiwi partial to sheep, any age will do!



Richard



Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:24

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Message 9 of 63 in Discussion

PTP is just a formality..........................................



Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:53

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Message 10 of 63 in Discussion

It wont take long and dosent cost very much. (honest)









tootie



Geoff


Joined: 25/06/2008
Posts: 1370

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:58

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Message 11 of 63 in Discussion

Shud be OK, inshallah!



anthiano


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 105

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:06

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Message 12 of 63 in Discussion

its just a formality again !!!!!!!!!!



cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:16

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Message 13 of 63 in Discussion

" We will regularly monitor the progress of your PTP application with the Ministry.It should take no longer than 18 months "



*this was 30 months ago *



Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:39

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Message 14 of 63 in Discussion

We need to charge you an extra thousand pounds



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:43

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Message 15 of 63 in Discussion

Back in 2006 my "lawyer" said to me believe me Mr Jeeem in 3 years time your villa will be worth 4 or 5 times what you paid for it ...your investment is safe..... geeee where do I sign Mr lawyer???



cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:51

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Message 16 of 63 in Discussion

Jim.....my developer said something similar.

"sign up today,and if you change your mind in 6 months,you can always sell it on for at least 10% more than you've paid"



Laugh?.....I thought my trunks would never dry !



witchfinder



Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 155

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:52

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Message 17 of 63 in Discussion

you shouldn't have to pay anymore......... to get your Kocan



fazo1


Joined: 23/08/2008
Posts: 406

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:52

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Message 18 of 63 in Discussion

sorry negnick i used her she has cost me 50k so would'nt recomend anyone to use naomi memet



Sandcastle


Joined: 16/03/2009
Posts: 215

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 23:38

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Message 19 of 63 in Discussion

We will keep you up to date all the way....................



pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 23:51

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Message 20 of 63 in Discussion

told us about esheger points system, bought turkish pre74



mfccyprus


Joined: 30/10/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 06:39

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Message 21 of 63 in Discussion

a load of lies typical turk cant lie straight in bed



keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 07:36

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Message 22 of 63 in Discussion

"There's a new law coming into force on the... (insert month of choice)...



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 09:42

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Message 23 of 63 in Discussion

"I prefer cash.."



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:01

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Message 24 of 63 in Discussion

marry me.....



stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:23

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Message 25 of 63 in Discussion

Please sit down would you like a coffee, ( he had that look in his eyes, here`s another NUMPTY ) I`ve got news for him this Fri Euro Lottery 110 Million and I`m going to win it.

stevie-d



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:27

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Message 26 of 63 in Discussion

Stevie, I think 110m is far too much money for one person. Imagine how you would feel is you shared it amongst all your friends here. Come on - you know it makes sense.



stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:33

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Message 27 of 63 in Discussion

110 I would make a lot of people happy Both in the UK and SUNNY TRNC, It`s good to dream.

stevie-d



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:43

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Message 28 of 63 in Discussion

She also said, i want your babies...........



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 17:49

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Message 29 of 63 in Discussion

if you sign here, here and here



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 17:51

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Message 30 of 63 in Discussion

What happened next Jock, I'm getting all hot under the collar here )



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:35

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Message 31 of 63 in Discussion

I signed.... and...............



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:43

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Message 32 of 63 in Discussion

.......forgot I'm gay!!!



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:49

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Message 33 of 63 in Discussion

lol you promised you would keep it a secret lover boy....



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:50

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Message 34 of 63 in Discussion

I'm free!!! x x x



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:51

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Message 35 of 63 in Discussion

you were allways free....



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:53

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Message 36 of 63 in Discussion

God....your just irresistable...they don't call you big jock for nothing



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:54

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Message 37 of 63 in Discussion

Jim i cant take this anymore ...........



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:56

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Message 38 of 63 in Discussion

Ok ...I will leave you alone



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:56

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Message 39 of 63 in Discussion

meeting up with wyn and his good lady tonight, will pass on my regards jim....



wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:57

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Message 40 of 63 in Discussion

Cheers Jock.....enjoy yourself and have a beer on me pal



ROBIN HOOD


Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 238

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 19:21

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Message 41 of 63 in Discussion

"Of course you always have the penaty clause for late delivery."



dozza67


Joined: 11/07/2008
Posts: 607

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 19:50

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Message 42 of 63 in Discussion

We were told and I quote "Safest way to buy property in TRNC" How naive are we? We truly believed this. Was told about 7 years ago.



bachelibelly


Joined: 04/09/2008
Posts: 275

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 20:38

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Message 43 of 63 in Discussion

"And they are due to start the Marina soon"



rtddci


Joined: 29/12/2007
Posts: 842

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 21:02

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Message 44 of 63 in Discussion

Of course your investment is safe, one day you will thank me....oh that army base is only a minor one, no problem with PTP..



Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 21:39

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Message 45 of 63 in Discussion

I'm not gay but my boyfriend is!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Richard



HildySmith


Joined: 02/07/2009
Posts: 1708

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 00:44

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Message 46 of 63 in Discussion

If your builder goes broke or dies, you will own what is there!!!!!!



Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 00:51

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Message 47 of 63 in Discussion

DNA test required please!



Richard



Kitty1


Joined: 15/03/2007
Posts: 683

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 05:39

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Message 48 of 63 in Discussion

Our estate agent told us the advocate our buyers chose was totally independent and she'd not had dealings with him before...



...being married to him obviously doesn't count as "having dealings".



nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 08:09

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Message 49 of 63 in Discussion

Another 250 please to put the transfer details in the newspaper, or you won't get your Kocan !!!!!!!!



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 11:04

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Message 50 of 63 in Discussion

"I never said that!"



DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 11:59

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Message 51 of 63 in Discussion

"Just wait till we have all expats financially badly involved in the TRNC building mess - then we lawyers will explain why it's their own fault...".



"... But new buyers* don't have to worry, of course...".



* New laws coming soon.



vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 12:48

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Message 52 of 63 in Discussion

' I know it's expensive but your estate takes half of my fee'



vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 12:50

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Message 53 of 63 in Discussion

Sorry...should read 'estate agent'



girne 29


Joined: 06/12/2007
Posts: 1488

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 13:59

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Message 54 of 63 in Discussion

"... But new buyers* don't have to worry, of course...".



seeing as there arent any.



cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:03

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Message 55 of 63 in Discussion

if you tell anyone i will have to kill you



cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:04

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Message 56 of 63 in Discussion

it only hurts a bit!!!!



cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:05

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Message 57 of 63 in Discussion

we are the most respected on the island



DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:09

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Message 58 of 63 in Discussion

Lawyer: "I'm the Sandman and I know a builder who builds dreams..."



Lazy days


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 847

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:14

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Message 59 of 63 in Discussion

Can you make the cheque out to Mrs ****** ******* bexleyheath account Lloyds



Stewart


Joined: 19/07/2008
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:59

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Message 60 of 63 in Discussion

Trust me....I am a lawyer!



"They" keep changing the rules



I am just annoyed as you are



Give me a couple of days to get back to you



My client account no is.......



tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 12:25

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Message 61 of 63 in Discussion

Don't worry about the small print it's not important !!!



Castlemilk


Joined: 12/03/2009
Posts: 174

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 12:39

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Message 62 of 63 in Discussion

I will take all your money with the help of your builder[ha ha only a joke]

That will be 1000 upfront please.



kibrissibel


Joined: 18/02/2008
Posts: 562

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 13:02

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Message 63 of 63 in Discussion

Oh yes, I was going to tell you about the 2 million mortgage!



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