The Amazing Scotsman (Joke)

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 11:10

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy, and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the same salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign (for the same circus) and the same sign that read: 'Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman'.

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive? much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.

Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing membe

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 11:12

member. The crowd went wild

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with the Scotsman, after the show.

"You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something.... You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

''Well laddie," said the Scot, "Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be."

spangles


Joined: 22/10/2008
Posts: 411

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 11:12

Come on Happy Feet you've got to type quicker

spangles


Joined: 22/10/2008
Posts: 411

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 11:14

Sorry - You beat me to it. I was waiting for part two to appear.

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 12:58

For some reason the thread box only allows so many words to be pasted it does not let me paste the whole story at once .

SORT IT OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 13:07

Nice one Happy Feet.

All Scotsmen are amazing!

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 19:10

Didn't Steve Martin play a character called Iron Balls Mc Gyntee ?

Was it in the Jerk or The Man with two Brains.

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 21:24

HAPPY FEET - I'd hazard a wild guess here and opt fo "The Man with Two Brains" - I am basing this on the main content of your Amazing Scotsman joke and some of the men I have met over the years - their brains being mostly in their.........................



J