if you.re bored,something to think about

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
01/11/2010 23:15

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on insufficient funds when they know there is not enough?

Why doesnt glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why dosent Tarzan have a beard?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear hemets?

Whose idea was it to put a 'S' in the word lisp?

If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the fridge with hopes that something new will appear?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your 1st try?

How do dead bugs get inside enclosed light fixtures?

Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
01/11/2010 23:40

we that got my brain going and must impress Hans somewhat )





Spider,X

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
01/11/2010 23:56

lol thanks spider,hope you enjoyed your crisp buttie

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
02/11/2010

Great thanks..now i could do with a pickled egg..to go to bed with. he.he.





Spider,X

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 00:24

How can they put 2 coats of Teflon on a Non Stick Pan.



We bought a Teflon 'NON STICK' pan. On the inside was a Care Lable. Stuck on with sellotape. The pan is supposed to 'NON STICK' Nothing sticks to teflon.

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 00:32

How very strange..cant be the real thing, no way had mine for years and nothing sticks to that..might just fry some sellotape with me sausages an eggs see what happens. Hans may help soon with a recipe he might google one. )





Spider,X .

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 00:57

message 5

another one got me thinking...if nothing sticks to teflon how did they stick it to the pan?

letty


Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 02:40

You would have thought there would have been more bored people than that in cyprus.

zookeeper


Joined: 17/03/2010
Posts: 168

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 05:19

Why is there only 1 word in the English language for 'thesaurus"?



When a building is finished why isn't it called a built?



Why do they call the period of the day when traffic is moving at it's slowest "rush hour"?



How can "flammable" and "inflammable" both have exactly the same meaning?



Zookeeper's bored spouse

steveafc


Joined: 12/12/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 07:00

why is abbreviation such a long word .....................?

cemaliye7a


Joined: 06/06/2010
Posts: 239

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 08:43

Lol... )))))))))))

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 08:59

Very good ....... )

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 09:04

Why was there only one Monopolies Commission ?

dorothea


Joined: 28/06/2010
Posts: 93

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 10:09

Why does a man's scrotum look fifty years older than the rest of his body.

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 10:20

why do men have nipples?

Blackie


Joined: 20/12/2007
Posts: 129

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 12:12

What if there were no hypothetical questions.

bigOz


Joined: 29/09/2010
Posts: 1244

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 12:55

Name a place that has the most number of different names in any language!

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 13:45

Why did Snow White think 7Up was a fizzy drink?



Richard

yrret


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 761

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 15:06

Does the fridge light really go off when you close the door?

If lightening strikes a tree in a forrest, and there is no-one there to hear it, does it still make a sound?

Why do dogs .......... Oh, just remebered, becasue they can.



Msg #15, because all eggs are actually female.

yenibob


Joined: 13/10/2010
Posts: 1203

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 15:10

Where did Barn Owls live before there were barns?

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 18:27

My Wildebeest (bless her), who is also blessed with the logic which only a woman can have, is able to answer every "why" question above and every "why" question I have asked in the last 50 years. The response is always accompanied by arms folded across her chest and a murderous look in the eyes as she shouts "thats why" !

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 18:29

Why when you give her herpes which lasts for life she hates you?



She gives you a kid that lasts for life and you are supposed to be over the moon...........

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 19:05

Why is Muffin the mule a sexual offence?



Richard

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 19:53

what or where is Your flabber.....and how does it get ghasted???

measey


Joined: 07/02/2009
Posts: 1037

Message Posted:
02/11/2010 20:02

why do wifes get uptight when you have an away match after all you are separated at the time.

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
03/11/2010 10:13

What is a gorm if you are described as gormless ?

letty


Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
03/11/2010 22:38

Think of a number between 1 and 10.

Times it by 9.

you now have a 1 or 2 digit number.

If you have a 1 digit number put a 0 infront of it.

Right, everyone has a 2 digit number,

Add the 2 digits together to make a single digit.

now subtract 5 from your number.

convert your number to a letter,

A is 1... B is 2 C is 3 and so on,



Now think of a country that begins with the letter that you have.



Take the second letter of that country name.



Think of an animal that begins with That letter.



Now say the colour of that animal.



take the last letter of the word for that colour that you just said.



think of another colour that begins with that letter



No doubt yenibob will get it wrong. but everyone else will be thinking of yellow.

letty


Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
03/11/2010 22:41

yuck is not a colour before anyone asks.

and elk is spelled with a silent x until further notice

letty


Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
03/11/2010 22:45

In turkisk TAMAM means ok,

TAM means complete and AM means c u next tuesday, hmmmmmmmmmm.

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
03/11/2010 23:48

Ha ha,good one letty

Heres another one,do it in your head,no pen and paper.



Take 1000 & add 40 to it

now add another 1000

now add 30

add another 1000

now add 20

now add another 1000

now add 10

what is the total?



















Did you get 5000?

Well thats too bad.the correct answer is actually 4100

letty


Joined: 04/12/2008
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
04/11/2010 12:48

Thats a good trick. Ill remember that when Im arguing over change at the lemar