Joke: Warning about Herbs!

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 09:33

A friend of mine was cutting dried herbs last week and some of it went into his eye.... be careful when doing the same as it has left him 'Parsley' sighted...

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 09:42

I was doing the same when I got a bit stuck to my arm.

Now I can tell the thyme.

LooseBoots



Joined: 08/02/2009
Posts: 1258

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 09:48

Funnyyyyyyyyyyy.



Why can`t all jokes be like this .corny, clean and give you a chuckle.............



Well done u2

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 09:56

Thanks LooseBoots

Kind words give me a Comfrey feeling all over.

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:20

Looseboots - I will pass your comments back to my friend Rosemary, she is cumin over later on today.

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:24

Say Aloe from me.

Have Anise chat.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:28

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands inback. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last nightand had the best meal ever. Good prices too."Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of therestaurant?"Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What'sthe name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?"Sam says, "How about rose?""Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife. "Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at lastnight?"

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:28

I'll have a word with Marjoram, Myrtle and Basil when I see them later !!



By the way, does anyone remember the password to enter garden in the "Herbs" kids tv show from the sixties ??

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:33

I may pop 'round for Tea later.

But I will have to check my Calendula to see if I am free.

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:42

Msg 8.

Herbidacious

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:42

are you trying to curry a flavour??

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:44

Don’t start that Agrimony on here.

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 10:48

I think I'd wait in all day (probably lifetime !!) if Nigella was paying a visit.



I was looking forward to some Loveage, but I hear she is a Tarragon of virtue !!



Martinev

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 11:26

*Kids** **Are** **Quick** *











*TEACHER: Maria , go to the map and find North America .**

MARIA :** ** ** Here it is.**

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?**

CLASS: ** Maria .**

____________________________________**

**

TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the

floor?** **

JOHN : **You told me to do it without using tables.**

__________________________________________*



*TEACHER: Glenn , how do you spell 'crocodile?'**

GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'**

TEACHER: No, that's w ron g**

GLENN : **Maybe it is w ron g, but you asked me how I spell it.**

____________________________________________*



*TEACHER: Donald , what is the chemical formula for water?**

DONALD : H I J K L M N O.**

TEACHER: What are you talking about?**

DONALD : **Yesterday you said it's H to O.**

__________________________________*

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 11:27

**TEACHER: Glen , why do you always get so dirty?**

GLEN : **Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.**

_______________________________________*



*TEACHER: Millie , give me a sentence starting with 'I.'**

MILLIE : I is..**

**TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.'**

MILLIE : **All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the

alphabet.'** *

*_________________________________*



*TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's

**cherry **tree, but also admitted it. ** **Now, Louie , do you know why his father didn't punish him?**

LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand.** **

______________________________________

**

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?**

SIMON : **No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.**

______________________________

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 12:08

You all need spraying with herbicide. I am going Chopin, will be Bach in 10 Minuets !

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 15:17

I presume you're just trying to compose yourself !!

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 15:26

I heard that they found Beethoven in his grave with his arms behind his back - he was de-composing!!

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 15:48

. Wots brown and sits on the piano stool ?





















Beethoven's last movement. Now that is mature compost !

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 15:52

) ) )

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 17:50

His terd symphony I presume !!



Martinev

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 19:58

1st, 3rd, 5th ? he will get no sympathy from me.

IbrahimAbi


Joined: 24/10/2010
Posts: 245

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 20:17

Thanks to all you old Sages, that only leaves Thyme to go to the Lav andher in doors needs a Rocket when I see her next, or her loveage may be sadly depleted

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
08/03/2011 20:41

I'll be Sorrell when we get to the Fennel post.



Martinev

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
09/03/2011 00:17

you lot have totally cracked me up tonight. thank you. just when I need it xxxxxxxxx Does that curry favour with you all xxxxxxx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
09/03/2011 00:21

I was cooking the other day when I got herbs in my eye, Now I'm parsley sighted.    

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
09/03/2011 00:38

No1 Doyen. When dicing with herbs if you know your onions avoid salt in the wounds by wearing contact lentils. That will get the pulse going again.

martinev


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 320

Message Posted:
09/03/2011 10:51

Sage advice indeed !!



Martinev