anyone play golf in TNC ??

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 15:44

1. Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."



Caddy: "Think yo can keep your head down that long?"



2. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."



Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."



3. Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"



Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."





4. Golfer: "Do you think can get there with a 5 iron?"



Caddy: "Eventualy."





5. Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world"



Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."





6. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."



Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."





7. Golfer: "How do you like my game?"



Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."





8. Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"



Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."





cont'd.......

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 15:45

continuation:





9. Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."



Caddy: "This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago."





10. Best Caddy Comment



Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."



Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

cyprusgiant


Joined: 08/07/2009
Posts: 467

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 19:04

God, Jesus & St Peter have a round every Sunday morning. St Peter tees off 1st with his driver & lands the ball 1 yard from the hole. jesus & God say good shot St Peter. Jesus selects his trusty 3 wood and lands the ball ! foot short of the hole. St Peter & God congratulate Jesus with his brilliant drive. God picks his pitching wedge, skies the ball straight up in the air, smacking a passing pigeon, the ball drops onto the fairway on the back of a rabbitt, when suddenly an owl swoops down, picks up the rabbitt & ball, and then drops the ball directly into the hole. Jesus turns to God and says " blooming heck Dad, it's only a game!"

slopjockey1


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 13

Message Posted:
16/04/2011 01:07

do u play cricket

slopjockey1


Joined: 17/08/2010
Posts: 13

Message Posted:
16/04/2011 01:59

go to wedding show

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
16/04/2011 03:35

mess 5 - i think we are going to have to come up with an award for that last post.................

DoctorW


Joined: 28/11/2010
Posts: 334

Message Posted:
16/04/2011 11:36

Golf - A good walk spoiled : Mark Twain

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
16/04/2011 15:28

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.



One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.



"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.



"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."



The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"