Joke..........why do sharks circle first?

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 12:48

Daddy White Shark was showing his son how to hunt.



They spotted a ship sinking,with many people swimming in the water.



"We'll circle them first,son,just show them the tip of your fin".



After a few circles,the father said "Ok,son,time to attack".



Both the sharks ate all the people.



As they swam away,the son asked "Dad.why did we waste time circling the people?"



"Son,a few circles scares the shit out of them,and they taste much better !!!!

stelee77


Joined: 06/06/2011
Posts: 557

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 13:01

Very good mike well done, how are the lemons growing in your back garden.

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 13:07

There are 2 sharks passing the time of day and swimming around when suddenly they spot a scuba diver all kitted up with oxygen tank etc.



1st Shark: Hey George, quick there's our lunch.



2nd Shark: Yeah, but don't eat the hard bit on the back, they make you fart!

Mambosun


Joined: 27/05/2011
Posts: 112

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 13:22

Great couple of jokes guys if only there were more like this and less of the moaning and back biting

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 13:38

Hi Steve...lemons coming on fine.Got 3 hands of bananas this year.





Another joke,sorry if you've heard it.



2 Irishmen discussing scuba divers:"Why do dey go backwards out of the boat?"



"Cos,if they went forward,they'd still be in the boat!!!"

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 13:58

Yet another Irish joke on C44 - how very clever!



A Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?"Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, ...she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir."The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly. "Thanks for that, it was lovely! but listen very very carefully. "Are- my- test-results-back"?





Enjoy!



DD

russianbabe


Joined: 19/08/2011
Posts: 130

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 15:37

a stingy tourist pulls into the gas station and demands from the attendant ,one drop of oil and two drops of gasoline

the attendant replies ,will you like me to fart in the tyres to fill them up

EsentepeKav


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 24

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 17:27

Irish Medical Dictionary



The Irish have the lowest stress rate

because they do not take medical terminology seriously

You are going to die anyway, so live life

Medical Term Irish Definition

Artery - The study of paintings

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

Barium - What doctors do when patients die

Benign - What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome

Cat scan - Searching for Kitty

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

Colic - A sheep dog

Coma - A punctuation mark

Dilate - To live long

Enema - Not a friend

Fester - Quicker than someone else

Fibula - A small lie

Impotent - Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane

Morbid - A higher offer

Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night,

Normally more money than Days

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

EsentepeKav


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 24

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 17:28

Post Operative - A letter carrier

Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery

Rectum - Nearly killed him

Secretion - Hiding something

Seizure - Roman Emperor

Tablet - A small table

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport

Tumour - One plus one more

Urine - Opposite of you're out

paddywack


Joined: 04/05/2009
Posts: 959

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 21:42

Msg 8/9

Another Irish racist comment

dan3006


Joined: 16/04/2010
Posts: 89

Message Posted:
09/09/2011 23:14

get a life paddywack or a sense of humour transplant. Im irish and havent took offence

boroles


Joined: 28/11/2010
Posts: 93

Message Posted:
10/09/2011 07:58

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!



Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'



After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man

boroles


Joined: 28/11/2010
Posts: 93

Message Posted:
10/09/2011 08:07

The husband had just finished reading the book 'Man of the House.'



He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said,



'From now on I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law. I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert. Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?



His wife replies, 'the funeral director would be my guess'.